"I'm not a therapist, but I suppose so." She paused a second before adding, "However, I think what you're doing with the school children now will help with that, by preventing the fear from growing."
Zain's lips twitched upward. It was the closest Ivy had ever seen him smile.
And it made him look entirely too humanlike.
Her heart thumped at the crack in his stony façade. Was there anyone who made him smile on a regular basis? Did he ever laugh?
However, before her mind went too far down that road, Zain spoke again. "I think the children getting together and having fun is easing everyone's fears a little here. There are still plenty of humans who refuse to allow their children to participate in any of the activities we've hosted for the kids. But those who have come here and joined in might help our reputations in the long run. Especially when combined with the effort of the other humans living here on Stonefire."
Aware the spell of honesty and almost ease between them could break at any second, Ivy decided to ask Zain a personal question. "You obviously have a mistrust of certain humans yourself. Why?"
He threaded his fingers togethe
r and sighed. "They brutally murdered one of my friends. Not to mention they've hurt so many others here and elsewhere in the UK. Just the thought of the hunters or Knights getting to my nephews is enough to make my dragon roar, as well as makes me itch to jump and fly away to find and eradicate every last threat to them."
As Ivy tried to think of how to respond to that—she was one of the former enemies after all—Zain continued, "But there's one more thing from my past, something that makes it harder for me to like adult humans more than most of the other dragon-shifters on Stonefire."
Ivy leaned forward a little. "What happened?"
Zain glanced down at his hands. The lowering of his alpha, impenetrable façade nearly made her blink. She hadn't really thought of him having vulnerabilities. Yes, he had loved ones, but the man himself seemed so strong.
But he had weaknesses just like everyone else.
Ivy tried not to read into how much sharing this with her meant. The only reason she could fathom he would think of it was to try and make their mating more amicable.
Zain grunted and said, "Every Protector has to serve two years with the British Army before they're given a final series of tests and allowed to join the security team on their clan. The male or female usually serves around age twenty or so, once a dragon-shifter is fully matured."
Yet another thing Ivy had never known before—dragons voluntarily served in the armed forces along with humans. The Knights had told them they were forced into service. "And since you're a Protector, you spent that time surrounded by humans, too. So I'm guessing someone hurt you during that time, or you wouldn't have brought it up."
He shrugged one shoulder. "Hurt is a vague word, but yes. My human superior lusted after me from the first day, and it didn't take long for him to let me know it, too. And whilst there are dragon males who prefer other males—or both males and females—I prefer females only. I told him so, and he didn't like it. So he threatened to kick me out of the army on some sort of violation unless I did as he asked."
She frowned. "But he didn't carry out his threat, right? Or you wouldn't be a Protector now. So what happened?"
Zain narrowed his eyes in disgust. "He gave me one other option besides sleeping with him—to spy on everyone else in the unit and to report back all their weaknesses. Probably so he could blackmail them for something." Ivy remained silent, sensing he'd tell more when ready. After a few beats, Zain shook his head and said, "For about ten seconds, I thought about spying for him. But then inside my head, I decided to deceive him by saying yes and then report it to the higher-ups the first chance I could."
The fact Zain had resisted the corruption, even when it could've dashed his dream or goal of becoming a Protector, raised him in Ivy's esteem. "Did you manage to report him?"
He nodded. "The next day, in fact. It took a little longer for anything to happen—the officers wanted proof via a recording—but I kept my place, and the other male was reprimanded. However, it made the rest of my time inside the army pure hell. A few humans applauded me standing up to him. But many felt the human had been wronged. I was only a dragon-shifter, after all. And I would flee back to my own clan after a short stint. My word shouldn't have mattered."
Not long ago, Ivy would've agreed with that sentiment.
Now, however, she felt anger at the younger version of Zain who'd done what was right, only to be punished in a different way for it. "Then I sort of understand why you're wary of humans."
He shrugged. "Not all humans. Melanie, Evie, Jane, Emily, and even Rafe have more than earned my respect. Plus, I may grumble, but it's pretty hard to hate someone like Daisy Chadwick."
She smiled. "You're a softie for the hyper, chatty girl, aren't you?"
He grunted, and she smiled wider. Then out of nowhere, an image of Zain holding his own little girl in his arms flashed into her head. He cooed and swayed her, with love in his eyes.
And not only that, but the daughter had ginger hair and blue eyes, just like Ivy.
Panic should have rushed forth at the image, but instead, a slow yearning filled her.
At one time, Ivy had thought of having children. However, her time inside the Knights had quashed that dream. Knights who became pregnant were cast into boring, monotonous jobs inside the organization. To advance—and help rid the world of the dragon infestation—she'd focused only on moving up the ladder and shunned any sort of relationships.
Of course, none of the men who had children were punished the same way. The longer she was away from the Knights, the more she realized the faults. They may have all hated dragon-shifters inside the Knights, but it had clearly favored the men's work over the women's, too.
"Ivy?" Zain queried.