Still Waters (Lover's Lake)

I grabbed Tatum’s hands in mine and slid to the floor and kneeled in front of her.

She covered her face with her hand. “You can’t propose to me, Rafa! You haven’t even met my mom yet!”

I wasn’t proposing, I was just losing my shit, I thought I could feel Fio slipping through my arms. I had to hold onto her. I refused to go back to the empty life I lived before.

“I’m not proposing, I’m just promising. I’ll be what you need. I’ll try not to be more.”

She took my hands and smiled at me, a sort of sheepish half smile. “I never thought when I turned in that information for the syndicate, that this is what would come of it. Last week, I thought I’d live my life on the run, alone, until I just couldn’t run anymore. I didn’t think I’d get a boyfriend,” she gestured to my brothers, “a whole fucking entourage, a new family. The head space is just very different. On the run alone forever, I guess wasn’t in the cards. I want to do a few things before this all gets away from me.

…

Two days later, we were on a plane, flying first-class to Wisconsin to see Ms. O’Geary and let her know that her daughter was safe and she wasn’t on the run. We’d also driven to Valor to try to get Tate’s car out of impound and recover her other laptop, her skater girl wardrobe, some tattered journals hidden under the spare tire in her trunk.

“I send you all off to carry out a hit and you pair off like it’s a dating show,” Malcolm Miller said, one hand on the opened trunk as he clucked his tongue in mock judgment.

“It’s your fault for sending such incredible women for us to hide away in my cabin,” Rafa told him. Miller slammed the trunk and handed Tatum a pile of cash for the buyout.

“Hear me out, kids. The vendetta dies with the Don. The feud ended when Trudy shot Gabrielli. If either of you notice any affiliates stirring up trouble, family, goons, any associates or chatter whatsoever, don’t take it upon yourselves to solve. It’s better I get a federal indictment and we stand back and watch the rule of law. You two make magic happen behind the screens, but I don’t want any more real life blood feuds on my watch. I know your brothers are badasses, Rafa, but they only got so many chances. Better to drop the info and walk away, stay anonymous as long as you can.”

“We’re headed up north to see Tate’s mom. She’s got cancer so we’ll lay low there for a while.”

“Send word. Don’t be strangers. Drop me a link when you can so I know where to find you,” Miller told us. He shook hands politely with both of us.

“Take care of this one, she’s a livewire,” and then to Tate, “wouldn’t you know, I always thought you were male until that day when you walked into my office. You put down a lot of bad people, Fio, and saved a lot of kids.”

Tatum thanked him and jammed her stuff into an empty suitcase we’d brought.

“You two kids will go far, I got a good feeling,” Miller said. He locked the Toyota on the lot and we walked back toward his bike and our rental.

…

The stewardess carded Fio when she tried to order wine. Then she pouted when the woman handed her ID back telling her she couldn’t serve her until she turned twenty-one.

“They ever let you out in public before?” I teased her. “I don’t know what the drinking age in Canada is, but—” she punched me in the arm.

“It’s Wisconsin, you jerk. And for your information, I’ve gotten served before. Sometimes, the general public isn’t that great at math,” she defended herself.

“Ten, minus, ten more, minus one,” I told her. “Not so hard. Maybe in Wisconsin…”

I ordered the wine myself and poured her the first cup. “Speaking of ID, I’m surprised you didn’t just alter your own data in the mainframe.

“For the drinking age? Rafa, even I’m not that petty.”

“How old do you have to be to get married in Canada?”

“Rafa!”

…

Watching Fio reunite with her mother pulled at my heartstrings. It made me realize what a sacred honor parenting was and it reaffirmed my conviction that I wanted to have children of my own, Fio’s children in particular.

“Mom, this is Rafael Connor, my boyfriend.” Ms. O Geary didn’t hesitate to pull me in for a big hug. Tatum looked like her mother and there was even something similar about their voices, the way they gestured, and how they inflected their tones.

It made me think about my own upbringing, and the bankruptcy of parenting I survived, but it also made me feel thankful for the family I did have. Gabriel and Malik were two of the best men I’d ever known and I got to call them both blood and go through life with them standing in my corner. It was worth it.