There was a gentle sadness to his voice I was surprised to hear; I wasn’t sure anyone else would have. “That doesn’t make you a dick. It makes you human. You deserved that money and more.”
“It is what it is.” He shrugged. “What about you? If you weren’t playing football, what would you do?”
“Hmm…I don’t know exactly. There was never really another option for me except football. I considered being a physical therapist, but I didn’t get my degree because I entered the draft. I think I considered PT as a career because of Elias.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” When I squinted, trying to work through what he said, he added, “That your brother would have something to do with it.”
“Not because I want to try to fix him or people like him. They aren’t broken.”
“No, no. I didn’t mean it like that. You love him, and you care about people and want to help them, that’s all.”
I nodded, letting out a breath. “I asked him once if he would change it—fuck, you don’t know what it’s like, knowing my decision led to his accident—but he said he wouldn’t. That it happened because it was supposed to, and now he’ll prove to people his disability won’t hold him back. It’s hard sometimes, especially when he feels fatigued and struggles with energy management, but he always finds a way to deal with it. Everything I do is for him, to be as good as he is, ya know?” I frowned. “Fuck, I can’t believe I said that. Ignore me.” I was getting emotional and shit. There we were, spending a day together that was supposed to be fun and about sex, and I was turning into a sap.
“You obviously needed to say it. You can tell me anything, Anson. You can trust me.”
“I know,” I answered honestly, but wouldn’t look at him.
“It’s also not your fault. It happened. Shit happens every day in life, and there’s nothing we can do about it. It was an accident, and it happened, but you’re not to blame.”
“You can tell me that until you’re blue in the face, but it won’t change how I feel inside. I appreciate your trying, though.”
West watched me. He cocked his head slightly, an unreadable expression on his face and in his eyes. It was enough to make me uncomfortable, so I looked away. “Contrary to how I’m eating this morning, I also considered being a nutritionist.”
“It’s fun making you be naughty,” he replied, his voice filled with promise.
“It’s fun being naughty with you,” I admitted.
He grinned widely. “You are trouble, Anson Hawkins.”
“What did I do?” I asked seriously, but he didn’t answer.
We finished eating, then rinsed the dishes together and put them in the dishwasher.
“Come on. I’ll show you the rest of my house. We’ll end in the bedroom. I think we’ll both like it there.”
He was ridiculous, and I fucking loved it.
The living room, dining room, and kitchen were open concept, so I could see those spaces from where we were. Still, I followed him.
Along the back side of the living room was a wall of windows, and then a hallway continued past it, to a set of stairs. His office was off the hall, along with a small room with gym equipment.
Upstairs were three bedrooms, and we got to his last, like he’d said. It had an en-suite bathroom, and a sliding glass door led to a balcony. It wasn’t a large house, the square footage definitely smaller than mine, but it was nice and homey.
“Can I take a shower?” I asked.
“Only if I can take one with you,” he replied, then added, “I’m kidding. You can absolutely take a shower with no obligations. I realize that sounded a little…gross.”
“Shut up and take a shower with me. That’s what I’m here for, right?”
He stepped up to me, cupped my face, and brushed his smile against mine. We kept smiling as we kissed until he slipped his tongue into my mouth and the kiss changed. I loved the way he felt, so hard, so muscular, the way his body matched mine. Loved his scent, heady and masculine. I was already starting to get hard again when he pulled away. “I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get enough of that mouth of yours.” Then he swatted my ass. “Shower. I want to see you naked.”
Goddamn, he really was bossy, and I liked it.
I didn’t think I’d get enough of him either.
His large tiled shower was across from a Jacuzzi tub. West started the water while I leaned against the sink, ankles crossed, watching him. When he turned, he tugged his shirt off, then pulled his jeans down. “You enjoying the show?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly.
So he kept going, pulling his underwear off, then walking over to me. His cock bobbed as he moved, half-hard, long, and thick, and…fuck, I wanted it in my mouth. Wanted to know what his skin tasted like, how his shaft and balls felt against my tongue, what he smelled like, and how the hair at his groin felt against my cheek, but I didn’t know if I was ready. I’d better get that way fucking quick, though, since I was leaving the next day.