These Hollow Vows (These Hollow Vows 1)

“Care to walk through the gardens?” he asks.

I bite my lip and drop a glance to my bare feet. “Should I go back up for some shoes?”

“The gardens are pristine. It’s perfectly safe to walk barefoot.”

In truth, I can think of nothing lovelier than a moonlight walk on a warm night, the feel of the cool grass between my toes. I squeeze his hand and let him lead me through a pair of glass doors into a massive courtyard garden. There are countless like it around the palace, and I’ve passed this one, but I haven’t visited before.

We wander to the center of the garden, and I pause under the sliver of a waning crescent moon. Closing my eyes, I breathe in through my nose, filling my head with the scent of roses and lilies. I’d almost swear I can smell the moonlight.

When I open my eyes, Sebastian is watching me. “What?” I ask, feeling a little foolish.

He swallows. “I love seeing you let go like that. You don’t do it often, but when you do . . .” He lifts a hand and touches my neck. “You’re breathtaking.” His fingers linger at my ear, and for a beat, I think he might slide them into my hair . . . might finally lower his mouth to mine again. But he pulls away and turns to study a fountain that’s gurgling in the center of a bed of roses.

Disappointment tugs at me. I bow my head, trying to pull it together and remind myself what I want—what I need from Sebastian—and it’s not a kiss.

“I know you never wanted a life in Faerie,” Sebastian says, still watching the fountain. “But . . . I need to know if you think you could be happy here. I need to know if . . . if I could be lucky enough to talk you into a life with me.”

A life with him. In Faerie. Forever. Is he asking me to live as a pampered princess, locked up in her castle and ignoring the many human servants who make that life possible? Even if the servants at the Golden Palace have a better life than I ever could have imagined, how can I be part of a world that treats so many humans as commodities?

Is Finn right to think I’d be so easily swayed to accept this life?

No. Even if part of me wants Sebastian again—still?—that’s not the life I want.

But if I want to stay in the castle, I might need to make Sebastian think I could want it. Even if lying to him crushes something fragile in my chest. “This is hard for me,” I whisper, and the truth of those words resonates in my voice. “I would be lying if I told you I’m ready to accept a life in Faerie.”

He bows his head. I wish he’d look at me.

“But I don’t want to leave you either,” I say. And even this is true, I realize. “Can you give me some time?”

Finally he turns and lifts his head, those sea-green eyes seeming to look right inside me. “I can do that. If you’re willing truly to consider a life here.”

My heart pumps hard, sending guilt trickling into my blood. I give him as much truth at I can. “It’s easy to imagine a life with you, Bash. It’s the other parts that are hard for me.”

He shakes his head, and there’s something like wonder in his eyes. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For forgiving me. For being here with me now. I don’t take this for granted.”

I swallow. I don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t trust me.

When he takes my hand again, he leads me to a stone bench where we sit together, soaking in the moonlight, talking of nothing, and smelling the flowers. The night has always been my favorite time, but nighttime in Faerie makes my power tingle beneath my skin, makes me feel like I could fly. And here next to Sebastian, it feels like I could be happy.

“My mother loves these gardens,” he says. “When she was younger, she spent every minute she could among the flowers. Father would find her out here in the middle of the night and drag her to bed.”

“Your mother mentioned your father when I went before her. She said you got your tender heart from King Castan. I bet he’d be proud of you.”

Sebastian bows his head. “I like to think that.”

“What happened to him?”

“He was killed in an assassination attempt on my mother several years ago.”

I gasp. “By whom?”

“A group of fae that defected from our court and took up arms with the Unseelie.”

I shiver in the breeze, but it’s guilt and not the balmy air that has my skin prickling. I shouldn’t waste my time worrying whether I want a future with Sebastian. If he knew I was working with the Unseelie prince and his misfit band of friends, that future would be off the table. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, but I know that an apology isn’t enough for this kind of deception.