These Hollow Vows (These Hollow Vows 1)

“He is my enemy, Abriella.”

“Well, you’re not his, so maybe you should rethink that,” I snap. Part of me knows that now isn’t the time for this, but I don’t want the secrets anymore. I don’t want to feel like I’m betraying one prince for the other when they are both good males who want what’s best for their people.

“Is that what he’s been telling you? Is that how he convinced you to trust him? By pretending that we’re friends?”

“I didn’t say you were friends. I’m not that naïve. But he’s not the monster Mordeus is, and if you want what’s best for your people, you should do everything you can to put Finn on the Throne of Shadows where he belongs.”

He flinches. Flinches.

“Sebastian.” He doesn’t look at me, and I move slowly as I cross the room to him. When I put my hand on his arm, he closes his eyes—relishing my touch or enduring it? I can’t tell. “Look at me. Please.”

“I can’t.” His jaw hardens. “You’ve been spending your time with my enemy while living under my roof and making me believe . . .” He shakes his head and keeps his gaze averted when he asks, “Are you even considering my proposal, or are you just pretending to so you can feed him information to bring down my court?”

“No.” I shake my head. I may be awful, I may be guilty of deceiving Sebastian and betraying him, but I would never try to help Finn destroy the Seelie Court. “I wouldn’t. But that’s not what Finn wants.” My voice shakes.

“Then what are you doing with him?”

He’s so wrecked, and it breaks my heart. You don’t know the worst of my betrayals, Sebastian. I don’t deserve you.

Because of my agreement with Mordeus, I can never tell Sebastian the full truth of what I’m doing with Finn—the how and the why of his help. Even if I could, I don’t know if I would. Sometimes I believe Sebastian would do anything to help me get Jas to safety, but other times . . . Nights like Litha, when I saw him throw Jalek around in that cell, I realize there’s still so much I don’t know about this world and the role Sebastian plays here. There’s so much I still don’t understand about the dynamics between the courts and within them.

Sebastian spins to me, and anger and desperation flash in equal measure in those beautiful eyes. “Answer me.”

“He’s training me,” I blurt. “He’s helping me learn to use the powers that manifested when I came to Faerie.”

“Powers.” Some of the anguish leaves his face. “Tell me what you mean.”

I lick my lips, eager to explain in a way that will allow him to forgive me for spending my time with his enemy. “You know I’ve always been good in the dark, but when I came here, I could suddenly become the darkness and the shadows. I could disappear into them.”

He searches my face, his expression unreadable. “Do you know where these powers came from?”

I shake my head. “No. They’re just there, though I’m not very good at wielding them. Finn offered to help.”

“In exchange for what?”

I close my eyes. I can’t answer that question without forfeiting my bargain. “I don’t know,” I whisper, and as the lie slips past my lips, I realize there is no lie I won’t tell, no object I won’t steal to save my sister.

“Why didn’t you ask me?”

Because I didn’t want you knowing about my powers. I didn’t want you knowing that I have abilities that let me sneak around your palace, that let me steal and spy and free prisoners. I bow my head. “I’m sorry.”

He strokes my cheek and nudges my chin up until I’m looking at him again. “I am mad with jealousy. I’ve been losing my mind here thinking he might be stealing your heart. I tried to tell myself that all I really care about is the security of my kingdom, when in truth”—he bends over and touches his forehead to mine—“in truth, I’ve put you before my kingdom for a long time now.” He traces the line of my jaw with the rough pad of his thumb, and I lean into that touch—the warmth and comfort of it. “Can I truly trust you, Abriella?”

If he could, he wouldn’t be asking again. But nothing’s changed. I need Sebastian’s trust. I need him to take me to the summer palace, and I need him to continue allowing me to stay here so I can retrieve the third artifact. “Of course.”

“Really?” He sighs heavily. “Maybe you don’t understand what it’s like between Finn and me, what it’s like between our families, the centuries of animosity. I’ve been protecting you all this time, and meanwhile, you’ve been spending your time with him. I can’t pretend this isn’t a betrayal.”