It would be easy to lean in and kiss her.
Reassure her that she was safe. That she was safe from the ghosts of this place.
But I didn’t. Instead, I’d wrapped her up in a towel.
Keeping her safe from me.
“Hold me.” She leaned in and wrapped her arms around my body.
With my arms by my side, I peered down at her. She was holding on for dear life.
Fuck it.Wrapping my arms around her, I relented to what she seemed to need in this moment. This affection felt alien to me. This closeness far away from the man I was or even had been. She’d run away, I should be punishing her for it, not this.
“I like it,” she confessed. “I’ve never been held like this before.”
“Not by your mother?” I made it cruel.
“No.” She peered up at me. “They never hugged us.”
“Never?”
She shook her head, causing water to drip off her locks.
I was failing to do what I’d promised all those years ago. Maybe because some part of me found her more useful than I’d first admitted to myself. What else could this rumination be? But a subconscious realization she was worth more to me alive.
I brushed a wet strand behind her ear. “You may return to your bedroom,” I said coldly. “Don’t disappoint me again.”
“I’ll be good now.”
Tipping her chin, I went to kiss her, forgetting myself, then pulled back before our lips touched—before I’d given her any part of me she didn’t deserve.
Turning sharply, I headed for the exit, hating this distasteful glimpse of affection I had to shake.
Fuck. Anya had manipulated me. She knew how to be equally cruel.
She was a snake, capable of slithering up and biting me.
But then another thought hit me. I could turn her plan around on her.
Use her lust. Lure her in.
Bend her to my will.
And she would give me what I wanted.
Her father.
Anya
Cassius was walking out. Leaving me with the fallout of these swirling emotions.
Leaving nothing but the sound of rain.
My tears spilled.
Not rain. The shower. A run-down bathroom. In a deserted house. In the middle of nowhere.
And I’m fine.
Just fine.
The towel he’d wrapped around me dropping like it was too much to bear—because he’d been the one to wrap me in it. Showing me the kind of affection I’d craved all my life.
Stepping over the towel that had pooled around my ankles. I was unsteady on bare feet and staggered back.
My body hit the tile and caused a shudder. Water gushed over me again. Eyelashes blinking through droplets as the empty room came back into focus.
Cassius had left me here.
The stark realization that everything that had gone on before hadn’t been normal. This, being kept prisoner, paled in comparison to the life I’d come from. What did that say about me?
Sliding down the wall, I hugged my knees and replayed the last few minutes. I’d looked into Cassius’s soul and seen unbound pain beyond that steely glare. Minutes ago, he’d been on the edge. Whatever he’d intended to do—something bad—he’d changed his mind.
After admitting to him that I’d never been hugged, he’d turned away sharply, not speaking another word, and left.
Images of my past came back into focus, bringing that familiar futility. Because I was finding out things about my father that made all of this make sense. And I didn’t want it to make sense.
I’d never found peace. Never once discovered a sense of balance at home. Never found love in any of its forms. I’d given up on happiness. It had never come my way. It was merely acceptance that it wasn’t for me. A surrendering of sorts. Letting the days slip by. I’d learned that if I didn’t expect too much, it was easier.
After twenty minutes, the water ran cold and chilled my flesh; goosebumps kissed my skin.
Pushing to my feet and raising my chin high, I knew none of this reflected who or what I was. All that had gone before had happened to me and not because of me.
I refused to end up broken.
Refused to give up hope of ever getting out of here.
Looking over at where my clothes lay drenched, I realized I had made another mistake in a long line of them. Water from the shower had snaked toward my clothes and underwear, and they were useless to wear.
Chilled to the bone, I returned to where the towel had fallen and wrapped it around my body. It smelled a little musty, but at least it was clean.
I left my clothes where they lay and walked the length of the shower, out along the narrow hallway, and headed off to find something dry to wear.
Squaring my shoulders, I prepared myself to face off with Cassius if he scolded me for exploring.
He had sent me to my room, but I wasn’t ready to go there yet.
Attempting to leave this house again was clearly off the table.