Caspian (Carolina Reapers 8)

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” I admitted, hating that sticky, gritty feeling in my chest. After all the shit he’d pulled recently, he didn’t deserve my apology, let alone my energy. But I deserved it. Deserved to give myself some grace when it came to sorting my shit out. I’d clung to this idea of a perfect future for so long before I even really understood what perfect looked like for me yet.

“I’m sorry too,” he said, and had the decency to look like he meant it. “I’ve been a real asshole.” He shook his head.

“You have,” I said, tilting my head. “And sure, you have been in the past, but never this intense. What’s that all about?”

He blew out a breath. “I don’t have any excuses. None worth giving you. You deserve a hell of a lot more than what I’ve given you in the past, and what I’ve said or done recently. The money…the deposit money and the idea of not getting it back has been eating away at me like battery acid.”

“You could’ve tried to have an adult conversation, one that didn’t include insults or provoking my…” My voice trailed off as I wondered what to call Caspian. God, I couldn’t wait to tell him about this.

“Caspian,” he said, and I was surprised he didn’t spit out his name. Chuck hurried to sign the papers, then pushed them back to me. I slipped them into a folder and laid my hand over the top to them protectively. “What made you change your mind?” he asked, reaching for his mug. “Not that I’m not grateful you finally did.”

I sighed, fiddling with my coffee. “After my dad died, I fell into you. Into our plans for the future. I thought it all looked like exactly what Dad would’ve wanted for me. I mean, he saw the land we wanted to build on. He was happy and excited for me.” I tilted my head, smiling at Chuck. “But I recently realized he’d be happy for me no matter what path in life I chose. And clinging to a dying relationship wasn’t going to bring my dad back.” Chuck flinched, and I shrugged. “You know it’s true.”

“Can’t say that doesn’t sting a bit, Ry,” he said, but he nodded. “But you’re right. I hate that you’re right. I wanted us to work out, you know? We’d been together for so long, it just made sense…until it didn’t.”

I nodded, nothing stinging from his words. “I’m glad you actually had the courage to break it off,” I admitted. Fuck, if he hadn’t? Would I still be with him? Building the house? No, I would’ve realized how wrong we were for each other before we made that mistake. I had to believe that, because I was with who I was meant to be with. I was with a man who made me feel like I was the best version of myself just by being me. “I might’ve preferred you’d done it in private,” I added, arching a brow at him. He cringed, but I laughed. “But at least we gave the gossip-hungry people in the town something to talk about for a few months.”

He chuckled, setting down his coffee. “Yeah,” he said. “And at least now they’re on to much more interesting things, like the amount of professional athletes that blew through the town for London’s wedding.”

My skin heated just from the thought of Caspian and how he’d crashed into my world like a shooting star, granting me every wish I never knew I had.

We finished our coffees and headed outside the café, stopping on the porch. The July sun raged down on us, but for once, I couldn’t find a thing to complain about. Holding the folder in my hand felt like I’d just reclaimed my life and it was so freeing it made me giddy.

“What are you doing to do now?” Chuck asked, and there was a healthy level of genuine interest in the question as he gazed down at me without a hint of the anger I’d seen these past weeks. Nothing but genuine friendly concern radiated from his eyes, and perhaps that intoxicating freedom that shone in mine too. Before we’d dated, we were friends, and maybe after everything we could get back to that. We’d been way better as friends than we had as lovers, but when you’re with someone for so long you sometimes forget what it’s like outside of that long-term relationship. The world of possibilities outside the safest one.

“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly. I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to do, but I couldn’t make any plans without having a real conversation with Caspian. I was no longer planning my life around a man or a relationship, but I wanted to include Caspian in the plans for myself in any way I could. But would he be interested? “I guess I’ll start by redefining what that perfect future looks like for me,” I continued. “And then I’ll go from there. What about you?”