Emory and I watch as she makes a complete loop around the ring. Felicity’s eyes move to her mom as she approaches, giving her a toothy grin. She then glances at me, smiles bigger, and sits a little straighter to show the effort she’s putting into her posture.
Fucking adorable.
Apparently just like me.
After she passes us, Emory says, “Shane wanted to come today.”
That shocks me as Emory had not said anything about it before. “When did he ask?”
“Last night,” she admits. “Before I left for the game.”
“And you didn’t tell me last night because…”
“Because you’re such a good guy, you probably would have insisted you not go and Shane come in your place.”
Maybe I would have. I want Felicity to have time with her dad. But maybe I wouldn’t have. Maybe I would have been selfish because I’ve been looking forward to this outing with not only Emory, but Felicity as well. I’m not stupid… if I want things to work with Emory, Felicity is part of the package deal. She needs to like me. She needs to get used to me being around.
It’s moot though. I turn my head to look at Emory. “I don’t know what I would have done, but in the end, I would have supported what you wanted.”
She shoots me a quick glance—and in that brief moment, I see she’s touched—before putting her eyes back on Felicity as she responds. “Is it awful of me that I just don’t want him to be a part of my life? I mean… fine, he should have something with Felicity and I’m all for that. But it doesn’t mean he gets to be a part of a family unit with us again.”
“That doesn’t make you awful at all,” I reassure her as I watch Felicity bring her horse to a halt on the far end of the arena, per Nora’s request. Nora walks toward her and I use the opportunity to fully face Emory. My hand goes to the side of her neck where I give a gentle squeeze. “You center your life around Felicity and all decisions you make are in her best interest. You do a fabulous job of it. But that doesn’t mean you cannot make decisions in your own best interest too. You’re still allowed to look out for your happiness, and you owe Shane nothing other than to try to let him be a parent if he can handle it. Past that, if you don’t want him in your life, it’s your right to say no to him.”
Emory lets out a long, shaky breath and admits, “I don’t think I realized how much I’d been doubting myself until you reaffirmed that I’m allowed to not want to be around him. I was starting to feel that same guilt that would creep up on occasion after I made the decision to separate. I just don’t want to be sucked into it again.”
“You won’t be,” I assure her. I’ll fucking make sure she looks out for herself.
Emory’s gaze cuts back to Felicity, who is still halted on her horse and talking to Nora. When she gives me her attention again, she says, “I can’t begin to tell you how bad things were for several months before I finally got the courage to leave. I don’t even want to tell you about it, because I don’t want to have to think about it. But for whatever reasons, the cumulative effects from all the pain he caused me and Felicity… it broke something inside of me toward him. I’d like to say I don’t feel a thing for Shane, but I do. I feel so much anger, and disgust, and I don’t trust him at all. I want to rail at him for everything he did to his daughter, because drugs were more important to him than she was. It’s that anger that constantly brews when he’s around that I’m barely able to manage. And so when he wants to spend more time with us, I want to scratch his eyes out.”
My chin jerks inward, my eyes slightly flaring over her desire for violence. But then I can’t help snickering. “I think I’d actually like to see it.”
She shakes her head, a half-smile on her face, and I drop my hand away from her neck. “It’s not funny. I feel awful feeling so awful toward him. Maybe I need therapy.”
I laugh and then loop my arm around her neck, pulling her into me. “I’m sorry for laughing. You’re just so fierce and I love it.”
Her face is pressed slightly at my collarbone but I can understand her muffled words. “I swear… if he does anything to hurt Felicity, I’ll kill him, Jett. I hope you’re prepared to have a girlfriend in prison.”
I laugh again and press a kiss to the top of her head. I know it won’t ever happen, but I do have a better understanding of how she feels about Shane. All those insecurities I had that she might want to give him another chance are burned away by her vehemence.