A sigh sounded behind her. The next sound was the creaking of his chair as he came to his feet. Her chin hit her chest when he came to stand right in front of her. Without saying a word he clamped his hands to her waist and lifted her up to sit on the desk. Next her thighs were summarily pushed apart and he was wedging himself between them, then her arms were firmly unfolded and lifted round his neck.
‘OK,’ he said. ‘Now that we are more comfortable I will explain … I fell in love with you within about two seconds of you walking through your father’s front door …’
Her chin shot up, green eyes wide with shock and disbelief.
‘Got your full attention now?’ he mocked. ‘Ready to hang on my every word with bated breath?’
‘You never did love me then, or you would not have left me on our wedding night believing what I did.’
‘You are referring to that memorable time when you stood there in your bridal gown, shouting at me and looking so heartbreakingly beautiful, hurt and young?’ He uttered a sigh. ‘It was either leave you there or toss you on the bed and ravish you and—trust me, agape—you would not have survived the kind of ravishing I had in mind right then. I was mad with you for believing that trash—mad with myself for not seeing it coming. Do you think that Vanessa is the only skeleton a man like me has lurking in his closet? I’ve had women trying to foist their babies on to me and women trying to blackmail me. I’ve had them sneaking into my bed in the dead of night and crawling through windows in an effort to get to me.’
‘Oh, don’t be modest; do tell the rest,’ Nell drawled acidly.
‘You think I like being every greedy gold-digger’s dream catch? Why do you think my security is so tight? Would you like a ballpark figure on how much it has cost me to keep such stories out of the Press over the years? Give any one of those grasping women a glimpse at more money and they would be singing to the Press today. Vanessa was the exception. She was not my skeleton, which made those computer printouts you showered at me all the more annoying because I did not feel I had the right to break the promise of silence and protection I had made to my father on his death bed.’
‘Not even to me?’
‘Don’t look so hurt,’ he chided. ‘Do you think it didn’t hurt me to realise that you were not equipped with the necessary defences to live my life? I already knew I’d been unforgivably selfish, crowding you into marriage so young. I saw in a single miserable flash of en
lightenment as I watched you enact that little tragedy just how selfish I had been. I saw how every jealous woman out there was going to have a story to whisper in your ear. It would have been like leading a lamb into a slaughterhouse then standing back to watch it be skinned.’
‘So you walked away.’ Her soft mouth wobbled.
‘Yes.’ He kissed the wobble then sighed. ‘When I left you at Rosemere I did it determined to set you free—but I could not. I kept on putting it off. Kept coming to see you, couldn’t stay away! Kept trying to convince myself that while you seemed content with what you had then you were OK. The night I offered to renegotiate our contract was the one time I was ready to rip the damn thing up and let you go. I’ve never felt happier when you turned the offer down without even hearing me out. I was off the hook for another few months until my conscience got to me again. Then that second photo of me with Vanessa appeared and you crashed your car. I’ve never felt so bloody lousy in my entire life!’
‘Good,’ she said. ‘It’s nice to know that I wasn’t the only one feeling like that.’
‘Ah, but that was before I knew about the new man in your life.’ He smiled. ‘I switched from feeling lousy with remorse to a thirty-four-year-old lusty, cradle-snatching lecher in a single blink of an eye. You think you were jealous of Vanessa? You barely scratched the surface of jealousy, agape mou. But I did. I scratched it right down to its bloody, primitive raw.’
‘I love it when you’re primitive.’ She moved a little closer in an effort to capture his mouth.
His head went back. ‘I’m being serious!’
‘So what do you want me to say—get away from me, you uncivilised beast? Shall I get your pack of bodyguards to string you up to a tree and tar and feather you for wanting me too much to let me go?’
‘Loving you too much,’ he corrected softly.
‘And aren’t you the lucky one that I loved you too much to drive away …?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ He frowned at her.
Nell gave a little idle shrug. ‘Only that Marcel was driving me back to Rosemere when we crashed. I thought your police report would have told you that.’
‘If it did, I never got to read that far,’ he murmured dazedly. ‘I just read the bit about you being in the passenger seat and went berserk.’
‘I noticed,’ she murmured feelingly.
‘Forgive me for what I said?’
Nell shook her head.
Xander uttered a sigh then changed tactics. He lifted her up until she straddled him then strode across the room.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked innocently.
‘Guess,’ he drawled. ‘If I am to pay a penance then I will do it in comfort.’
And he did.