‘You haven’t had time to walk all that way.’
I’ve walked far enough! she thought, studying her poor aching feet.
‘Have a lovers’ tiff, did you?’ He was getting nasty; she could hear the level of control dropping with each word.
‘Something like that,’ she shrugged, getting off the bed and walking towards the bathroom. Let him think what he liked! she thought mutinously. Let him think what he damned well liked.
His hands grasping hold of her upper arms brought her spinning round to face him. He wasn’t just angry, she noted on a small bubble of alarm, he was furious— tense with it, pulsing with it, eyes like silver beacons.
‘And what was this—tiff about?’ he demanded tightly. ‘Wouldn’t you go back to his place with him? Is that it? What’s the matter, Rachel—weren’t you in the mood?’
Her own eyes flashed, bitterness and a downright disgust with men in general tonight making her retaliate in kind. ‘But how do you know I haven’t been at his place all evening?’ she taunted. ‘I could have rung you just as easily from there, you know. How are you to know the difference?’
He went white, his fingers biting painfully into her flesh, hard eyes flashing over her face as if he were looking for evidence to prove what she was suggesting could be true. ‘Your lip,’ he growled. ‘He bruised your lip!’
‘And you’re bruising my arms!’ she cried. ‘Will you let go?’ She tried to pull away but he just increased his grip until she winced.
‘How could you?’ he bit out hoarsely. ‘How could you do it, Rachel? How could you?’
It was all beginning to boil. It had been threatening to do it for long enough, and at last the full force of their pent-up emotions was beginning to bubble to the surface.
‘I tell you what, Daniel,’ she flashed, ‘let’s exchange notes since you’re so damned interested! You tell me how it was with Lydia and I’ll tell you how it was with Zac!’
‘God, stop it!’ He closed his eyes, pain raking across his features, and Rachel felt tears of utter wretchedness burn at the back of her eyes. For the second time that night she hit out at a man, hitting him with both her fists until Daniel let her go.
‘You disgust me, do you know that?’ she whispered bitterly, and flung herself into the bathroom, her fingers trembling as she slid home the small bolt which was never used.
When she came out again, calmer but by no means under control, she found Daniel sitting on the bed with his head buried in his hands. It hurt to see him like that. But, there again, everything hurt these days. She couldn’t remember a time when she had last felt like laughing in this house.
‘I want to go to bed,’ she said, refusing point-blank to give in to those weaker feelings his defeated pose raked her with.
He didn’t move, and after a long taut minute while she stood there, hovering between a bitter desire to hit him again and a weak need to run over there and hold him, simply hold him because he was hurting and she loved him—damn her!—loved him no matter what he said or did to her—she felt something go snap inside her, and on a groan that was a wretched cry of frustration she dropped down on her knees in front of him, her hands going up to grasp his wrists angrily, pulling them away from his face.
‘Do you really want to know what happened tonight?’ she demanded shrilly. ‘He came on to me but I repulsed him, so he paid me back by taunting me with Lydia!’ The hurt shot across her eyes and Daniel closed his to shut it out. ‘Lydia,’ she repeated thickly. ‘The highpowered lawyer who is far more Daniel Masterson’s type than pathetic little Rachel is!’
‘That’s not true,’ he whispered tensely.
‘No?’ Tears spread across her eyes, the torture of it all making her heart muscles tremble. ‘Well, I think it’s true,’ she asserted thickly. ‘We’ve grown apart, Daniel! You going one way while I’ve stayed still, and I think the Lydia Marsdens of this world are far more your type now!’
To her surprise, he laughed, deridingly shaking his dark head as if he couldn’t believe she’d actually said that. ‘Does it look as though I’ve grown apart from you?’ he demanded tightly. ‘Am I straining at the leash to get away? Are my suitcases packed and standing by the door? Hard ruthless bastard that I am, Rachel, don’t you think I’m quite capable of walking away from you if I decided it was what I wanted to do?’ She had no idea how it happened, but suddenly it was Daniel gripping her wrists, not the other way around.
She shook her head. ‘Lydia,’ she murmured. ‘She’s—’
‘To hell with bloody Lydia,’ he dismissed scathingly. ‘This is not about her. This is about you and me and whether we can still stand the sight of each other!’
‘Guilty conscience, then!’ she sighed. ‘You stay because of your damned guilty conscience!’
‘Well, I certainly have one of those!’ he bitterly agreed. ‘But don’t be foolish enough to grant me concessions where non
e are due,’ he warned. ‘I am no one’s martyr, Rachel. If I believed this marriage of ours a waste of time, I would have walked out long ago. Be sure of it. This is the nineteen-nineties after all,’ he added cynically. ‘Marriages break up all the time. No,’ he murmured roughly, ‘this is why I stay.’ He pulled her towards him to kiss her hard. ‘I want you,’ he growled. ‘I can’t honestly get enough of you! Even after seven years I can still get hot in the groin just looking at you! My God!’ he added harshly. ‘I can’t even stop myself from taking you when I know I can no longer satisfy you.’
He shook his dark head in self-disgust. ‘But that doesn’t explain why you haven’t thrown me out,’ he went on grimly. ‘How can you, Rachel, having had me hurt you, break your trust, make your life a misery? Why?’ He gave her wrists a hard shake. ‘Why haven’t you told me to get out?’
‘I…’ No. She shook her head, refusing to answer, because the answer was so utterly degrading to her already humiliated soul.
‘Then would you like to call it a day?’ He altered the challenge slightly. ‘And have me out of your life?’
Her body jerked in reaction, a harsh stab of pain cutting right through her. ‘No,’ she whispered, feeling the weighted beginning of tears build in her chest.