“Help me get him to the car,” Kellan ordered Jacob. They laid him in the backseat, and I climbed back there with him. “He might throw up again, Alyssa. You might want to sit up front.”
“I’m fine here,” I replied.
Kellan thanked Jacob, and we drove off toward the hospital to get Logan checked out. I’d never seen him like that, and I was seconds away from losing my mind.
“Keep him awake, okay?” Kellan said.
I nodded as my tears fell against Logan’s cheeks. “You have to stay awake, okay? Keep your eyes open, Lo.” He laid his head in my lap in the backseat of Kellan’s car, and I was terrified that if he closed his eyes, they wouldn’t open back up. His whole body was soaked from his own sweat, and every inhale he partook in looked painful. Every exhale, exhausting.
He laughed. “Hi.”
My lips turned down. “Hi, Logan.”
His head shook back and forth, and he sat up on his elbows. “No. Not hi. High. H-I-G-H.” I hated when he talked about being high. I hated the way he lost himself in something that changed him from my best friend into my greatest fear. What happened to you tonight, Logan? What made him go so deeply toward the darkness?
I paused, knowing the answer.
It was me.
I did this to him.
I made him chase his shadows.
I’m sorry, Logan.
My Mom’s words rang in my ears and mind as I stared down into his slatted eyes. He’s an addict, Alyssa. He’s sick, and he’s not going to get better. He’ll drag you down into the flames before you bring him fresh air. You should give up on him. He’s a lost cause. Kellan and you both are his enablers. You’re allowing this to keep happening and it’s only going to get worse…
“You’re high,” Logan whispered, falling back down.
“What?”
“You call me Lo, which makes sense because I am low. I’m the bottom of the fucking pit. But you?” he chuckled and closed his eyes. “You’re my High. And you broke my fucking heart.”
Tears filled my eyes as I held him in my arms. “Keep your eyes open, Lo. Okay? Just keep your eyes open.” I glanced to the front of the car, where Kellan was wiping at his face. I knew seeing his brother in the shape he was had to be the hardest thing ever.
I knew Kellan’s heart had to be breaking like mine was.
“Take me back,” he muttered, trying to push himself up from the backseat.
“Chill out, Logan. Everything’s okay,” Kellan said.
“No. Take me back,” he hollered, leaping up from my lap and diving at the wheel, making Kellan swerve the car. “Take me back!” We both tried to stop him, to get him to control himself, to get him to calm down, but before we could, Kellan lost control.
The car took a sharp left.
And everything went black.
Chapter Twelve
Logan
When my eyes opened, I was in a hospital bed, and sunlight was shining through my window. I tried to turn away, but everything hurt. “Shit,” I muttered.
“You okay?” a voice said. I twisted my head over to see Kellan sitting in a chair with packets in his hand, and a large bandage on his forehead. He was wearing a hoodie, and sweatpants, and missing the smile that was always on his face.
“No. I feel like I’ve been hit by a semi-truck.”
“Or maybe like you hit a freaking building,” someone else murmured. I turned to my left to see Erika. Her arms were crossed, and her stare harsh. Beside her was a man in a bowtie holding a notepad, and Jacob was in the far corner, sitting on the countertop.