“Home is always home. Even when you don’t want it to be.”
After all of the time that passed, after all of the distance, Alyssa Marie Walters still somehow felt like home to me.
I wasn’t certain how to handle that fact, which was exactly why I needed a one-way ticket away from True Falls, Wisconsin.
Fast.
Chapter Eighteen
Alyssa
“On a scale of one to ten, how long did you know Logan was in town before you figured to call me? One being you had no clue, ten being, ‘I secretly hate my sister,’” I asked Erika through the phone, juggling my keys as I tried to get into my house. Ever since Logan and I crossed paths at the restaurant, my nerves had been shot. I couldn’t think straight, I felt nauseous, I felt anger…I felt…relief?
A big part of me sometimes doubted that Logan was still alive, even though Kellan would give me updates every now and then.
“Trust me, I had no clue,” Erika said. I finally opened my front door and within seconds, I was flopped on my sofa. “Kellan sent out an S.O.S. for him I guess. It’s a mess. He’s supposed to be staying with us for a while.”
“A while?” I asked, perking up. “How long is a while? Is he there now?” I debated walking over to her house just to see his face. Just to make sure he was real.
“Aly,” she scolded, her voice sounding a lot like Mom’s when she’d discipline us as kids. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t go back down that road. Logan Silverstone is out of your life. And I think it’s best if we keep it that way.”
How is he supposed to stay out of my life if he’s literally blocks away from me, staying with my sister?
“I was just curious, Erika. Seriously.” I paused, listening to the noise coming through the phone. She was rearranging her whole house; I just knew it. I could hear her pushing the furniture around. Whenever Erika was nervous or upset, she always rearranged things, or accidentally broke items, which she would quickly run to the store to replace. It was a weird quirk about her, but I left a boy a message each day for almost five years—everyone had their weird quirks. “Wow, he must have really gotten under your skin,” I said, pulling out a tube of lipstick and applying it over and over again. “I can hear you moving things around.”
“Can you blame me? It’s like the ghost of Christmas past showing up and saying, ‘Oh? Are you under some stress? Well, let me come screw things up a little more for you.’”
“How many plates have you broken so far?”
“Only one, thankfully,” she sighed. “I had extras in the storage closet though.” Of course she did. She was always ready for almost any kind of incident. “He was smoking and leaving ashes on my saucer, Alyssa! Who does that?”
I snickered. “Better than on your five hundred dollar coffee table.”
“Do you think that’s funny?”
A little.
“No, it’s not funny. Sorry. Look, I’m sure after a few days, things will get back to normal. You probably won’t even know that Logan’s there.”
“Do you think he’s still using?” she whispered through the phone. “Kellan’s in denial, but I don’t know. I think this is a terrible, terrible idea. The timing couldn’t be worse.”
“He looked good,” I said, walking to my bathroom, staring in the mirror at my messy lips with too much ruby red color to them. I picked up a wet wipe and started wiping the lipstick away, thinking about Logan’s eyes that reminded me so much of yesterday. “He actually looked really great. Healthy.”
“You don’t worry, though? That he’ll relapse? Being back in this place where all of his trouble started can’t be good.”
“I think that we shouldn’t overthink everything. One day at a time. One broken plate at a time, Erika.”
She snickered. “Are you sure you don’t want to come over to join us for dinner? Mom will be here to greet Logan.”
Oh no. Poor Logan.
My mom was far from his biggest fan. And the last time Logan saw her, he called her a belittling monster.
“As much as I would love to be a part of that train wreck, I think I’ll have to pass.” Seeing Logan earlier made my mind dizzy. I wasn’t certain that I could’ve handled seeing him again. Even if a big part of my heart wanted to stare at him, just to make sure he was real. “Anyway, have fun tonight, and text me all of the disastrous details.”