“I think about your smile. About how when you’re nervous you chew on your shirt collars, and when you’re shy you do the same thing. I think about how when you’re angry, you hiccup three times, and that every time your mom puts you down, it still stings. I think about where your mind is at night when it storms, and if you ever, for a second, still think about me.”
“Lo.” I sighed. “Come inside.”
“Don’t invite me in,” he muttered under his breath.
“What?”
“I said, don’t invite me in.”
“You don’t want to talk?”
“No.” He locked eyes with me. “No. I don’t want to talk. I want to forget. I want to make my mind stop remembering all of the bullshit. I want to… High…” He lost his breath, and his words faltered. The tremble in his voice would’ve been missed by someone who didn’t know Logan. But I heard it, I knew him, and his mind was traveling to those dark places again. He stepped in closer, and I stood still. I wanted him closer. I missed him being so close. His hand fell against my cheek and I closed my eyes at his gentle touch. “I want to talk to you, but I can’t. Because then we’ll be back to where we were all those years ago, and I can’t go back to that, Alyssa. I can’t fall back in love with you. I can’t hurt you again.”
My heart skipped. “Is that why you’ve been so mean to me?” He nodded slowly. “Logan. We can just be friends. We don’t have to be in a relationship. Just come inside, and we can talk.”
“I can’t be your friend. I don’t want to talk to you, because when I talk, I hurt. And I don’t want to hurt anymore. But… I can’t stay away from you. I’m trying to, but I can’t. I want you, High.” His words sent chills down my spine, and fogged my mind. “I want to run my hands through your hair,” he whispered, taking his fingers and combing my curls behind my ear. “I want to run my tongue across your neck. I want to feel you.” His hand ran against my cheek. “I want to taste you,” His mouth slowly licked the curve of my neck. “I want to suck you.” His lips engulfed my earlobe, sucking it gently. “I want to…Fuck…” He sighed, pulling me closer. “I want you, Alyssa. I want you so much. I want you so hard and deep that my mind can’t think of anything else. So please, to avoid any more confusion between us,” he hissed against my earlobe, before sucking it lightly. “Don’t invite me in.”
My heart was racing, and I took a few steps backwards until I was pressed up against the wall of my house. He grew closer, his arms boxing me in. His eyes dilated as they locked with mine, filled with need, want, hope…? Or maybe it was my own hope, which I’d prayed still existed within his stare. My thighs quivered, my mind a jumbled mess. A part of me wondered if I were dreaming, while a bigger part of me didn’t care. I wanted this dream. I missed this dream. I longed for this dream over the past five years. I wanted to feel his body pressed against mine. I wanted to feel how much he missed me. I wanted to le
an in closer and kiss him.
I wanted to feel him…
Taste him…
Suck him…
Lo…
“Logan,” I murmured, unable to take my stare away from his lips, which were almost touching mine. Logan moved that gorgeous body closer to me, lifting my chin so we stared straight into one another’s eyes. His lips reminded me of the summer when kissing was all we’d do. Reminding me of the first boy I’d ever loved and the first and only boy who managed to break my heart. “You’re sad tonight.” My head tilted to the left and I studied every part of him. His hair, his mouth, his jawline, his soul. The dark shadows that were always in the depths of his eyes. His breaths were heavy, unsteady like mine.
“I’m sad tonight,” he agreed. “I’m sad every night. Alyssa, I never meant to hurt you by not returning your calls.”
“It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago. We were kids.”
“I’m not that same boy anymore, Alyssa. I swear I’m not.”
I nodded. “I know, and I’m not that same girl anymore." But a part of my soul remembered our yesterdays. A part of my soul still felt the fire that Logan and I started to build many years before. And sometimes, in the quiet moments between daylight and night, I swore I still felt its warmth. “That’s why I want you to come inside tonight. Because I’m sad, too. No commitment. No promises. Just a few moments to forget, together.”
His fingers started lifting my T-shirt, and my eyes closed from the pleasure that simple act brought me. A small moan escaped me as his thumb rolled against the fabric of my panties, and then he pressed harder, sliding his thumb up and down. His tongue danced against my earlobe before he sucked it hard. His right hand gripped my ass as his left moved my panties to the side, allowing him to slide a finger deep inside of me.
One finger.
Two fingers.
Three fingers…
My pants were heavy, my needs even stronger. My hips arched in his direction, wanting his hardness inside of me. I grinded against his fingers, begging for the touch that I missed so much.
“Come inside,” I said, quietly moaning, pulling him closer, needing him closer.
“Don’t invite me inside.”
His fingers deepened. My heartbeats heightened. I felt everything in those moments. Every fear, every want, every need…
Feel.
Taste.