It wasn’t unusual for women to flirt with my father. He was a handsome man with an awesome wardrobe, courtesy of my mother. He regularly got complimented on his light brown eyes and long lashes, in which I was fortunate enough to inherit.
Besides the fact that he was a great father, what always resonated deeply with me was that the successful pharmacist made it clear that he only had eyes for my mother. And as if on cue, he looked up and spotted her. His grin stretched from ear to ear, but his eyes always seemed to hold so much adoration for her. Even after almost thirty years of marriage, when they were apart for any amount of time, he looked at her like she was the only person who existed. Looking at that type of love and devotion caused my heart to swell.
One day someone will look at me like that. Hopefully.
Once the hostess led us to his table, Dad stood to kiss his wife before pulling me in for a bear hug.
“Hi Dad.” I pulled out of the hug and removed my coat. Once we were all seated, I noticed the table was set for three. “Zach isn’t coming?”
My older brother never turned down a free meal.
The look my parents exchanged gave me pause. I shifted my eyes from one to the other. “Is Zach okay?”
“Yes, of course. He’s working,” my mother answered before the waitress arrived.
We ordered drinks and our favorite dishes without glancing at the menus.
“Okay, what’s going on?” I asked cautiously, nervousness coursing through my veins.
“Zoe…” Dad took a sip of water before he leaned forward. “Is everything okay?”
They know.
With a deep breath, I nodded slowly, looking between them. “How long have you known?”
My mom clasped her hands in her lap. “It’s a two-day exam and you arrived on what would’ve been the second day. We’ve known the whole time.”
Averting my eyes, I nodded and attempted to get my thoughts together.
“Did something happen?” My father’s brows furrowed with concern.
“No. I’m okay. I just…” The words wouldn’t form and my sentence just trailed off into the light buzz of people around us.
“This isn’t like you. You’re impulsive at times, but you don’t shirk your responsibilities. And you’re not frivolous with money,” he sat back in his chair. “I don’t understand, Zoe.”
Shit! I didn’t even think about the money. Eight hundred dollar exam and five hundred dollar exam prep course…courtesy of my parents’ generosity.
My manicured hand covered my mouth as I realized just how royally I fucked up. “I will pay you back every dime.”
Although they always assured me that I didn’t need to work while I was in school, I showed up to work almost every night to take care of myself. But they paid for my school expenses—which included everything related to the bar exam.
“It’s not about the money, Zoe. Your father and I just want to know what made you decide to skip the biggest exam of your life and immediately come here. Don’t get us wrong, we loved having you and seeing you so soon after Christmas. But there has to be an explanation.”
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to explain it. Fortunately, the waitress dropped off our food and the conversation halted for one full minute. Even after the waitress left, the awkwardness of knowing they were waiting for a response and not knowing what to say only suppressed my appetite.
“I never meant to keep it from you,” I started, looking between them. “I just didn’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry.”
“What is it that you’re not telling us?” My mother’s exasperated voice filled me with dread because I knew I’d disappointed her. I’d disappointed both of them.
I blinked at her, contemplating my truth.
I’m freaking out.
I’m not ready.
I’m overwhelmed.
Because taking that exam changes everything.