And it was all because of me.
“Stupid mud tie. Stupid purple tie. Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I muttered, tossing all the ties into my top dresser drawer. I hated ties, because they had made me late. I hated myself for being the reason Maggie had been alone in the woods.
As I pushed to close my dresser drawer, I grew angrier and angrier again when it wouldn’t shut due to being too full. “UGH!” I hollered, slamming my fist against it. “I hate you! I hate you!” I kicked the dresser hard, which only led to me limping and rubbing my toe.
“Everything okay, Brooks?” Mom asked, walking in with concerned eyes. She was already dressed in her scrubs to go to work at the hospital, where she was a nurse, and the way she glanced down at her watch told me she was running behind.
“I’m fine,” I huffed, hobbling over to my bed and sitting before rubbing my toes some more.
She walked over to me and placed the back of her hand to my forehead. “What’s wrong, babe?”
“Nothin’,” I muttered. “You’re gonna be late.”
She took off her watch and placed it behind her back. Then she gave me a smile. “No worries. Let’s talk before I go. I know you’ve been going through a lot of stuff after what happened to Maggie.”
“No. That’s not it. I just couldn’t get my drawer to shut.” My face was heating up and my hands were gripped into tight fists. “It’s the stupid ties’ fault,” I whispered through my gritted teeth.
“The ties?”
“Yeah! I took all the stupid ties out of that drawer, and now I can’t get them to fit back in, so I kicked it and hurt my foot.”
“Why were your ties out to begin with?”
“Because…” I hesitated and raised an eyebrow at Mom. “You’re gonna be super late.”
“Don’t worry.” She smiled and ran her fingers through my hair. “I’ll be okay. Tell me what’s really bothering you.”
“Well…I was supposed to meet Maggie out in the woods for our rehearsal.”
“Rehearsal?”
“For our wedding.”
“You two were getting married?”
My face heated up even more, and I looked down at the ground. How had I not told my mom I was getting married? Maggie had told everyone, and me? Nobody. “Yeah, well, I don’t know. It was Maggie’s stupid idea. I was just going along with it because Jamie made me. Anyway, Maggie told me to pick out a tie and meet her in the woods, which was supposed to be easy, but I spent too much time picking out a tie. So, she was in the woods by herself, and whatever happened to her out there was because of me. I was the reason she got freaked out, because I was late to the twisted trees.”
“Oh, honey.” Mom sighed and started rubbing my back. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yeah, it was. It was my fault for not being there to protect her, and now she ain’t talking or leaving her house because something scared her, and I should’ve been there to stop it, to save her.”
“Brooks…” Mom lowered her voice and clasped her hands together. “Whatever happened to Maggie is tragic, but it wasn’t your fault. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that it doesn’t help to sit and play a situation over and over again in your head. You can’t change the past, but you can shape the future with the right now. You know how you can help Maggie now?”
“How?” I asked eagerly, sitting up straight. I’d do anything to fix her.
“Be her friend. She’s probably pretty scared right now and confused. Lonely, even. She doesn’t need you to feel sorry for her, honey. She just needs a friend. Someone who stops by and checks in on her every now and again. Someone to ask if she’s okay. Someone to let her know she’s not alone.”
Yeah. A friend. “I can do that. I can be a good friend, I think.”
She snickered slightly and bent forward, kissing my forehead. “I know you can. One second, let me get something for you.” She hurried out of the bedroom and when she returned, her left hand was in a fist. She sat beside me and opened her hand to reveal an anchor charm on a string. “Your father gave it to me when we were young, after my father died, and he made a promise to always be there for me whenever I needed him. He said he’d be my anchor when I felt like I was drifting away. He was always an amazing friend to me, and he still is. Maybe you can give it to Maggie, to make her smile.”
I took the necklace from my mom and thanked her. She helped me more than she knew, and if this anchor would make Maggie smile, then it was hers. I’d do anything to bring her beautiful ugly smiles back to the world.
“You okay today, Maggie May?” I asked with my hands holding my MP3 player as I stood outside of her bedroom door. She was standing by her window, staring down at the street when I arrived. She turned slowly my way and wrapped her arms tightly around her body. Her eyes looked sad, which made me sad, but I didn’t show it. I just gave her a small smile. “You okay today?” I repeated.
She nodded slowly, and I knew it was a lie, but that was okay. She could take all the time she needed to be okay, I didn’t mind. I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Can I come in?”