“What’s that?”
“The strength you find to keep going on. Even on the mornings when you think you won’t make it, by nightfall you realized that you could. That’s my favorite thing about life—that no matter what, it keeps moving on.”
“What’s your least favorite thing about life?” I asked.
She lowered her head for a minute in thought, before looking back at the sky. “That no matter what, it keeps moving on.”
My hand rested on the dock, and when her fingers found their way to me, we locked our hold together and looked up at the awakening cotton candy sky.
“I’m sorry.” I cleared my throat, feeling foolish. “I’m sorry for how cold and rude I’ve been, Maggie. You didn’t deserve any of that. I was just trying to push you away as I self-destructed. I didn’t want you to be around as it happened. The water was up to my neck, and I was ready to go under. Then, your voice pulled me up. Your voice saved me. I’m still pretty broken, but I made you a promise. I p
romised you one day I’d show you the world, and that’s what I’m going to do. I can’t swear that I won’t have bad days, but I promise I’ll fight for the good ones. I’ll fight for you, Magnet. The same way you fought for me.”
“You stayed by my side for twenty years, Brooks. I think I can handle you having a few rocky days.” She laughed, and I was in love with the sound. “Besides, you’ve seen my darkness. It’s only fair that I’d be able to see yours, too.”
“Your voice, Maggie…I don’t think you understand what it does to me.”
She laughed, and I fell more in love with her. “I wondered what I’d sound like. Do you like it?”
“Like it? I love it.”
“It’s not too…” She wiggled in her seat and scrunched her nose. “Squeaky? Or childish?” She deepened her voice to an unnatural volume. “I stood in the mirror last night practicing my seductive voice. Do you like it?”
I couldn’t stop laughing.
“You like it, don’t you?” she said, deep as hell and awkward as all get out. “You think this voice is sexy. You totally want to bang me.”
“I mean, yeah, but the voice could go. You sound like you’ve smoked fifty packs of cigarettes a day.”
She started giggling and nudged me in the arm. We laughed and talked as if the communicating back and forth without a board was normal for us. It was effortless. Truth was, if I could’ve sat quietly and listened to her voice for the rest of my life, I would’ve been happy.
She scooted closer to me as the sun started rising. “You okay today, Brooks?” she whispered, sending chills down my spine, asking me the question I’d asked her almost every single day of her life.
I squeezed her hand twice. Yes.
We didn’t speak another word.
Five minutes before she sat on my dock, I was completely lost.
Five minutes sitting across from her, I began to remember my way home.
Maggie still tossed and turned at night, too. Not as much as she used to, but still, she had nights of darkness that came her way. One night as we slept beside one another, I awakened to the sound of her dismay. She was whispering something to herself, her body drenched in sweat. I wouldn’t wake her because I knew there was nothing worse than being pulled out of one’s nightmares before they were ready to leave. I waited for her to come back to me.
When she did, she gasped, opening her eyes, and I was right there to offer comfort. For a moment her hands flew to her neck, but she took deep inhales and exhales to relax herself. It seemed over the years, she was better at easing her own panics.
“You’re okay,” I promised. “I’m here.”
Maggie sat up and combed her hair behind her ears.
“On a scale of one to ten, how bad?” I asked.
“Eight.”
I kissed her forehead.
“Did I wake you?” she questioned.
“No.”