‘You did say you loved me didn’t you? It wasn’t a dream?’
She shook her head. ?
??Not a dream—reality. I do love you, Nikos. I think I fell in love with you that first moment I saw you. Tonight...just now... I thought I was dreaming you up...’ A dam was breaking inside her.
Nikos caught her hands in his. His hands were shaking. He tugged her to sit down on the couch.
He looked down. ‘You’re still wearing your rings.’
Maggie flushed. ‘I meant to take them off.’
He looked at her. ‘I wouldn’t blame you... I’m an idiot.’
‘You’ve said that.’
‘I love you.’
‘You—’ She stopped. ‘You really mean it?’
‘Of course I love you... I just didn’t know what I was feeling because I’ve never felt it before. But I remembered what you said about your mother...about doing anything for Daniel...and that’s how I feel about you. And Daniel. I couldn’t breathe this week, Maggie. I need you. I need you both. So much.’ Then he said, ‘Do you know why this is the only house I’ve ever bought?
She shook her head, reeling. Afraid to move in case she broke the spell.
He said, ‘The first time I saw this house it appealed to something in me. I think I must have seen you here in a dream. And then I came and here you were. I’ve never had a home. Not a real, proper home. But when you opened that door something inside me went quiet for the first time in my life. I was home.’
He went on.
‘I used to have panic attacks when I was at boarding school. They were brought on by a sense of being totally isolated and alone. I used to be sent home for the holidays with whichever poor unfortunate kid’s family had offered to take me in. I didn’t ever get to spend time with my own brothers. Sharif was abroad by then, building up his stake in the business. Maks was being shuttled between our father and his mother.’
Nikos’s mouth twisted.
‘They were no better off—I can see that now—but I imagined they were happier than me. I would watch the families I was with and feel toxic. I thought they must be able to see all the way into me, to where I was so jealous of them and the happiness they took for granted, and I vowed never to let myself want that. Because it felt like weakness. My own family didn’t want me, so I obviously didn’t deserve to be loved.’
Maggie reached out and cupped his jaw. ‘Oh, Nikos...of course you deserved it. You deserved it more than anyone. You lost your mum so young...’
He pressed a kiss to her palm. ‘I believed for a long time that she left me because I wasn’t worth living for.’
‘I can understand that. Especially when no one was around to tell you otherwise.’
‘I’ve never let myself feel anything for anyone until you. It took me a year to come back to you.’
‘You’re here now.’ Suddenly Maggie felt insecure. ‘Are you sure? You’re not just saying this because it’s better for the company—’
He was shaking his head. ‘I would sell all my shares tomorrow if that would help convince you. I want us to have a home. A proper home. In Paris...here...wherever you want. My life is with you now, and with Daniel.’
Maggie felt ridiculously shy all of a sudden. ‘I don’t mind living in Paris or wherever. I just want a home with you and a safe, secure place for Daniel to grow and feel rooted. For our family to feel rooted.’
Maggie took his hand and put it on her belly.
He looked at her. ‘You said...family?’
She nodded. ‘I’m pregnant. Again. I was feeling nauseous... I didn’t think it was possible... But apparently even if you’re breastfeeding and your periods haven’t started again it’s not impossible—’
Nikos pulled his hand away. ‘Pregnant? Another baby?’
He stood up and left the room so abruptly that she felt dizzy. She stood up too, her insides turning to jelly. It was too much. Too soon. Even the strongest of relationships might not be able to cope with a second pregnancy so soon after the first...
She waited to hear the sound of the front door slamming but it didn’t come.