“I would like some water,” Judith said through parched lips.
“Yes,” Joan laughed merrily. “Not so fast,” she said as Judith greedily drank from the cup.
The door opened and they both turned to see Gavin entering with a tray of food.
“I don’t want to see him,” Judith said firmly.
“Go!” Gavin commanded Joan.
The maid put down the cup and left hastily.
Gavin set the tray down on a small table by the bed. “You are feeling better.”
She stared at him but wouldn’t answer.
“I brought you some broth and a bit of bread. You must be very hungry.”
“I don’t want anything from you. Neither food nor company.”
“Judith,” he said with great patience, “you are acting like a child. We’ll speak of this again when you’re well.”
“Do you think time will change my mind? Will time give me back my baby? Will time let me hold him, love him, even let me see the color of his eyes?”
Gavin took his hands away from the tray. “He was my child, too, and I have lost him also.”
“So, you have learned that much! Should I feel pity for your sorrow? You didn’t even believe him to be yours. Or did you lie about that also?”
“I haven’t lied to you, Judith. If you will only listen, I’ll tell you everything.”
“Listen?” she said calmly. “When have you ever listened to me? I have tried from the moment we married to please you, yet there was little I could do that didn’t make you angry. Always, I felt I was compared to someone else.”
“Judith,” he said and took her hand from her lap.
“Don’t touch me! I am fouled by your touch.”
His eyes turned from gray to black. “I have something to say, and I will say it even though you try hard to prevent me. Much of what you say is true. I did love Alice, or I thought I did. I fell in love with her before I even heard her speak. I created a woman for her to be, and she became that woman. We never spent much time together, only swift moments here and there. I never knew what she was really like, only what I wished her to be.”
Judith didn’t answer. Gavin couldn’t read her thoughts.
“I fought against loving you,” he continued. “I thought my heart belonged to Alice. But now I know that was not so. Judith,” he said quietly, “I have loved you for a long time. Perhaps I have loved you from the first. I do know that now I love you with all my heart and soul.”
He stopped and watched her, but her expression didn’t change.
“Shall I fall into your arms now and declare my great love for you also? Is that what is expected of me?”
Gavin was stunned. Perhaps he had expected her to say she loved him.
“Your lust killed my child!”
“It was not my lust!” Gavin said passionately. “I was tricked. Stephen and I drank too much together. A leopard could have climbed into bed with me and I wouldn’t have known it!”
Judith smiled icily. “And did you enjoy the leopard’s claws? You have before.”
Gavin gave her a cold look. “I have tried to explain my actions to you, but you won’t listen. I have told you of my love—what more can I do?”
“You don’t seem to understand. I don’t care that you love me. Your love is worthless, given freely to whoever requests it. Once I might have done much to hear those words, but they are no longer sweet to me. It has taken the death of my child to clear my mind of such fairy tales as love.”
Gavin sat back, staring at her. He didn’t know what else to say. “I have been wrong on all counts. You are right to be angry.”