He took his time answering. “I am alone. My brothers seem so sure of what they want. Gavin loves the land, Stephen is a crusader about his Scots, Raine wants to change the world, but I…”
She looked up at him and for a moment there was a silent exchange. She too had felt alone in her life. Edmund was evil, Roger was always angry and she’d spent her life escaping Edmund and his friends while trying to protect Brian.
Miles took her hand in his and she didn’t pull away. “You and I have had to grow up quickly. Do you remember being a child?”
“All too well,” she said flatly, pulling her hand away.
For a while they ate in silence. “Was your home…happy?” she asked, as if it didn’t matter.
“Yes.” He smiled. “Each of us was fostered but we still spent a great deal of time together. It’s not easy being the youngest son. You get knocked about a bit. And were you happy?”
“No. I was too busy running from Edmund to think of anything as silly as happiness. I would like to retire now.”
Miles followed her to their room and she saw that tonight a cot had been set along one wall.
“No windowseat,” he said cheerfully, but Elizabeth didn’t laugh. He took both her hands in his. “When are you going to trust me? I am not like Edmund or Pagnell or any other of the disgusting men you know.”
“You are holding me prisoner. Do men as good as you think you are hold innocent women captive?”
He kissed her hands. “But if I returned you to your brother, what would you do? Would you wait for Roger to find you a husband and then happily settle down to wedded bliss?”
She pulled away from him. “Roger has given me permission to never marry. I have considered taking vows of the church.”
Miles gave her a look of horror. Before she could protest, he pulled her into his arms, stroked her back. “You have so much love to give. How could you think to hide it? Wouldn’t you like to have children, to watch them grow? There’s nothing like a child looking at you with complete adoration and trust.”
She lifted her head from his shoulder. She was growing almost used to his touching and holding of her. “I’ve never before met a man who loved children. All the men I know care only for fighting, drinking, raping women.”
“There’s something to be said for a good rousing fight now and then and I’ve been drunk before, but I like willing women in my bed. Now, let’s get you out of this dress.”
She jerked away from him, her eyes hostile.
“I plan to sleep on that cold, hard, lonely cot but I think you must be sick of that gown. You’d be more comfortable sleeping without it.”
“I am more comfortable in my clothes, thank you.”
“All right, have your own way.” He turned away and began to undress while Elizabeth fled to the protection of her bed.
The single candle was still burning and when Miles wore only his loincloth, he bent over her, pulling the blanket from over her face. She lay stiff, rigid, while he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand caressing the hair at her temple. Not speaking, he simply looked at her, enjoying the feel of her skin.
“Goodnight, Elizabeth,” he whispered as he planted a soft kiss on her lips.
Her hand shot out to wipe it away but he caught her wrist. “What would it take to make you love a man?” he murmured.
“I don’t think I could,” she replied honestly. “At least not as you mean.”
“I’m beginning to think I want to test that. Goodnight, my fragile angel.”
He kissed her again before she could protest that she was far from fragile, but this time she was able to wipe the kiss away.
Chapter 5
MILES, ELIZABETH, SIR GUY AND THE MONTGOMERY knights traveled for two more days before reaching the southern border of Scotland. Elizabeth tried once more to escape—at night while Miles slept close to her—but she didn’t reach the door before he caught her and led her back to bed.
Elizabeth lay awake a long time after that, thinking about how she was a prisoner and yet not a prisoner. She had never been treated with as much courtesy as Miles Montgomery treated her. He did insist upon touching her at every opportunity but she was growing used to that. It certainly was no pleasure but it was no longer as vile as it’d seemed at first. Once, at an inn where they’d stopped for dinner, a drunk had fallen toward Elizabeth and, as a reflex, she’d stepped nearer to Miles for protection. He had been inordinately pleased by that.
Today he’d told her that from now on they’d be using his tent as the inns were not as abundant in Scotland. He hinted that once they crossed the mountains, there could be trouble since the Highlanders didn’t like the English.
All through supper, he’d seemed preoccupied and had conferred with Sir Guy several times.