She hadn’t told him of seeing Brian in Scotland. “Did it ever occur to you, Roger, that perhaps you caused Brian to leave? I would like to hear your side of what happened to Mary Montgomery.”
He turned away from her. “I was drunk. It was a hideous…accident.” He turned back, his eyes pleading. “I can’t bring the woman back and the king has punished me more than enough with his fines. Brian has left me and you return from my enemy bloated with his child, and instead of the love you once gave me, now all you do is question me, doubt me. What more punishment do you intend for me?”
“I’m sorry, Roger,” she said softly. “Perhaps I have changed. I don’t know if Miles loves me. I don’t know if he’d want to marry me to give our child a name, but I do know that I love him and if he asked me, I’m sure I’d follow him wherever he led.”
Only Roger’s eyes showed the pain he felt at her words. “How could you turn against me so completely? Is this man so good in bed that your screams of pleasure make you forget the love I bear you and have always had for you? Does five months with him wipe out eighteen years with me?”
“No, Roger. I love you. I will always love you, but I want you both.”
He smiled at that. “How very young you are, Elizabeth. You want a man who, I hear, is also wanted by half the women of England. You want a man who takes you to his bed, gets you with child and never speaks of marriage. And what kind of marriage would it be? Will you care for all his bastards as you have for his eldest son?”
“What do you know of Kit?”
“I know a great deal about my enemies. Miles Montgomery likes women. You are one of many to him and I respect the man for at least not lying to you and saying you were going to be his one and only love.”
He touched her arm. “Elizabeth, if you want a husband, I can find someone for you. I know several men who’d take you bearing another man’s child, and they’d be good to you. With this youngest Montgomery you’d be miserable inside a year.”
“Perhaps,” she said, trying to think rationally. Maybe Miles’s hands on her had made her lose reason. He’d always been kind to her, but then he’d been kind to serving girls. If she did desert her brother for a Montgomery, Roger would hate her, and what would she feel for Miles years from now? What if, as a practical joke, someone else “gave” him a pretty young girl? Would he decide she belonged to him also? Would he bring her home to Elizabeth, smiling, expecting her to care for the girl as she did for his bastard children?
“Let me find someone for you. I’ll bring many men for your approval and you can choose who you want. At least look at them. If you want to remain unmarried, you can.”
She looked at him with love. He’d be laughed at for allowing his sister to bear a child out of wedlock. Some would say she should be killed if she refused to wed. Roger had suffered much disgrace over the last few years, yet he was willing to risk more for her sake.
At her smile, he grinned, and for the first time he looked as if he had a reason for living.
“Yes, I’ll look at your men,” she said from her heart. She would try with all her might to fall in love with one of them. She’d have a kind, loving husband, children to love and her brothers, because somehow she’d reunite Brian and Roger.
Elizabeth learned a great deal about love in the next few days. Never, before she met Miles, had she had any idea what love was. She’d never even considered loving a man, but then Miles came along and changed that. Within five months of his patience and humor he’d made her love him. She knew she’d always have a soft spot for Miles but there were many men who were good and kind in the world. All she had to do was fall in love with one of them and it would solve everything.
But Elizabeth underestimated herself.
Roger began parading men before her like so many studs ready to service her. There were tall men, short men, thin men, fat men, ugly men, men so handsome you
merely gaped at them, swaggering men, bold men men who made her laugh, one who sang beautifully. On and on they came.
At first Elizabeth was flattered by their attentions, but after just a few days, her old fears began to return. A man touched her shoulder and she jumped high, put her hand on her eating dagger at her side. After a week, she was finding excuses to remain in her room, or else she was always in Roger’s company.
Then suddenly, Roger left the estates. He said nothing to her but rode out with eight men at a furious pace. A servant said Roger’d received a message from a dirty, black-toothed man and within seconds Roger’d left. The message was tossed into the fire.
Elizabeth was close to tears knowing that there were eleven male guests below and she was their hostess. She couldn’t talk to one man with any coherence because she was always concerned with where the other men were. All Miles’s months of patient training were disappearing. Once she brought a brass vase down on the head of a man who’d dared to walk up behind her.
With her skirts flying about her, she fled to her room and refused to return to the hall.
She lay on her bed a long time and all she could remember was Miles. Every time she met a man, she compared him to Miles. Some utterly splendid man would be introduced to her and all she’d think was, he moves his hands too quickly or some other such nonsense. And one night, she’d allowed a man to kiss her in the garden. She’d caught herself just before she brought her heel down on his little toes, but she couldn’t keep herself from wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. The poor man’d been terribly insulted.
Elizabeth tried very hard, but not a single man even interested her. As the days passed, she wished she could see Bronwyn and ask advice. She was considering writing a letter when the bottom dropped out of her world.
A haggard, wasted Roger returned bearing the mutilated body of Brian.
Elizabeth greeted him but Roger merely looked through her as he tenderly carried Brian’s body upstairs and locked himself in a room. For two days he stayed locked inside with Brian’s body and when he emerged, his eyes were sunken and black.
“Your Montgomerys did that,” he said hoarsely as he strode past Elizabeth and Alice.
They buried Brian that afternoon but Roger didn’t reappear. Elizabeth planted roses on the grave and shed tears for both her brothers.
Alice hounded Elizabeth mercilessly, screeching that the Montgomerys should die for all they’d done. She was fascinated by lamps full of hot oil and waved them around maniacally. She said Elizabeth’s child would be born with the mark of Satan and would be cursed for all eternity.
One by one, the male guests left the bereaved and somewhat insane household and Elizabeth was left alone with her sister-in-law.