Damn. But hey, I get it. I give her a brief nod and take a step back, letting the two women walk away from me as Marina asks Bryn more questions, trying to get information out of her.
Guess I should go in search of Matt, so I can find out what’s up.
Chapter Five
* * *
Bryn
THE LAST THING I want to do is dump all of my misery and problems on the bride, but Marina’s the one interrogating me. Gage stepped away and gave us some privacy, which blew my mind. I protested when Marina took me over to an empty table in a dark corner so she can question me further, but he waved us off. I’m so lucky to have such great friends.
“Okay.” Marina sits across from me, her expression serious, her gaze imploring. “Tell me what happened to make you so upset.”
I press my lips together. She’s going to tell me I’m the biggest idiot ever when I confess what I did to Matt. I just know it. “I said something stupid.”
Marina offers me a little smile. “Don’t we all? I say stupid stuff all the time.”
“I said something stupid to Matt.”
“I always say something stupid to Gage, so no worries there.” She’s trying to tell me that whatever happened has to be no big deal, but I know the truth.
It’s a very big deal.
“Matt asked me to marry him, and I said no,” I blurt out, figuring it’s best to just get it over with because, oh my God.
It feels really good to tell my friend what I did.
And I must hand it to Marina—she hardly bats an eyelash. “Give me exact details. Well, whatever details you want to give, that is.”
I sigh and launch into the story, not bringing up the fear that has hung over me like a dark cloud since last night’s rehearsal dinner. Matt’s always had a romantic streak, but he’s seemed extra loving since he witnessed the mock ceremony between Gage and Marina. “I think—no I know—seeing you guys rehearse your ceremony and the vows and all that put ideas in his head. Ideas that he wants to marry me,” I say, finishing my explanation.
Marina reaches out and clutches my hand tightly. “And what’s wrong with that? You two seem so good together.”
“We are. Definitely.” I say, nodding. “But don’t you think it’s happening too fast? We haven’t been together that long. Not even a year. And he’s already asking me to marry him?”
“When you know, you know,” Marina says gently. “Gage and I had been together only a little while before we knew we wanted to get married.”
“See that’s the thing. I don’t know if I want to ever get married,” I confess, hanging my head. I feel terrible admitting such a thing, but it’s true. I’ve had terrible examples when it comes to relationships. My mom ditched me, and though I’ve come to terms with it, the abandonment hurt. I don’t really know my father, but whatever. I have no siblings. And I know my grandma loves me, but she’s always so gruff. My grandpa died before I was born, and she’s rarely had a man since, so I haven’t seen her in romantic relationships much.
Matt is the first good thing to happen to me. The most loving, extraordinary man I’ve ever met. He treats me like a queen.
And like a complete idiot, I told him no. I didn’t want to marry him.
What’s wrong with me?
I don’t even realize I’m crying again until I feel a tear drop on the skirt of my dress. Swiping at my eyes with shaky fingers, I sniff loudly, wishing I had a tissue.
Marina shoves a cloth napkin at me, and I take it, dabbing at my eyes. My girlfriends are the second best thing to happen to me since I moved to the Napa Valley. What would I do without Marina and Ivy? These girls take care of me no matter what, no questions asked. They laugh and cry and get mad when I do, and I do the same for them. They’re like family.
“You’re scared,” Marina says. “And it’s understandable. If anyone should understand, it’s Matt. He lost his mom. His dad is a complete jerk. Gage told me Matt used to be kind of a jerk too, when he was playing pro ball. But then he got injured and it changed him completely. Like, altered his life both in his career and the way he thought and behaved. He quit being such a womanizer and focused on bettering himself. Then he found you.” She smiles. “You helped change him too. You changed each other.”
“So as a thank you, I reject him and ruin my chances with him completely. That’s just great,” I wail, feeling like a complete idiot.
“You didn’t ruin your chance,” a familiar male voice says from behind me.
I freeze, recognizing that voice anywhere. Closing my eyes, I breathe deep, searching for courage. I need to be brave and face him. He came back for me. Maybe he’s telling the truth, and I didn’t blow it after all.
Slowly I turn in my chair to find Matt standing there, an unsure smile on his face as he watches me. “What are you doing here?” I whisper, earning a shove from Marina, undoubtedly for yet another stupid question.
“Go to him,” she whispers, and I do. I stand and walk toward him as if I’m in a trance, everything fading away until it feels like it’s just him and me in the room and not another three hundred or so people.
“I’m so sorry, Matt,” I say, shocked when he takes my hands in his and holds them between us. “I shouldn’t have run away.”
“I shouldn’t have asked you that question yet,” he says, his voice serious, his gaze searching. “You’re not ready. I should’ve realized that.”