“Like I said, I grew up in the country. My whole family cooks. We hunt, too.” He hesitated briefly before he went on, “We’d shoot a deer and break it down, and make our own venison chops and steaks and sausage.”
“Sounds fun,” Ellie replied. “My brother Ethan likes to hunt.”
“Do you ever go with him?”
She should have been prepared for the question— after all, she was the one who’d mentioned Ethan— but a wave of sadness caught her off-guard.
He must have caught her expression, because he said, “Did I say something wrong?”
“No.” She could have brushed off the question or changed the subject, but something about Hal, his sweetness or his solid strength, made her want to tell him. They’d only ever have a professional relationship, but even so, she wanted h
im to get to know her better.
“Ethan and I are twins,” Ellie said. “We’re fraternal, of course, but we looked a lot alike when we were little. And our personalities are similar, too. You don’t know me well enough to know what that means, but—”
“I think I do,” Hal said. “Let’s see. You’re both brave. Risk-takers. Daredevils. You both want to do what’s right. And you’ll both make sacrifices to do it.”
She stared at him. “What are you, some kind of bodyguard mind-reader?”
He shrugged. “He’s a Recon Marine who ate a bug in SERE training. You’re a paramedic who’s going to be the first person ever with the nerve to testify against the man who scares the entire city shitless. It’s obvious.”
Maybe it was, but Ellie wasn’t used to having men call her brave. And she was even less used to hearing them call her a risk-taker as if it was a good thing.
Awkwardly, she went on, “Well, Ethan and I were really close when we were young. Then our parents got divorced when we were ten. It was awful. They both accused each other of cheating, and they got in a custody battle. The judge awarded me to Mom and Ethan to Dad. They were both so pissed off that they moved to opposite ends of the country. Ethan and I got to see each other maybe once a year. We promised to move to the same city once we were old enough to make our own decisions. And we did. But he joined the Marines, so we still only see each other about once a year.”
Ellie blinked back tears, then snatched up a napkin and scrubbed at her eyes. She hated crying, and she especially hated crying in front of other people. It made her feel weak. “Sorry. I don’t usually get all emotional like this. It’s because I’m so tired.”
Hal put his hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about. It’s been a rough day.”
His touch brought her comfort. Maybe even enough to be worth having him see her cry. But she at least didn’t want to keep crying. Hastily, she said, “What’s your family like?”
“Oh, they’re great,” Hal said cheerfully. “Very outdoorsy. Dad’s a carpenter, and Mom makes fancy jellies and jerky and so forth. They live in this little town north of here, with a bunch of my other relatives, and they all like to get together and go hunting and hiking and fishing and picnicking and—”
As Hal went on describing how loving and cozy his family was, Ellie couldn’t help comparing it to hers, with her parents who hated each other, her bitter mother, the father whom she barely knew, and the brother she loved and hardly saw.
And this is why none of my relationships ever work out, Ellie thought. It’s not just my schedule. It’s because once I tell guys about my background, they decide I’m too damaged to have a relationship. Maybe they’re right. Why would a guy like Hal ever want to be with a woman like me?
Hal broke off abruptly. “I’m sorry. I’m being a complete asshole.”
“What?” She was bewildered. “What are you talking about?”
“All that stuff about how great my family is.” He let out a long breath. For the first time, she saw his usual calm break into anger. “I mean, everything I said is true. It’s just not the whole truth. They are nice. They also want a lot of stuff from me that I’ve never been able to give, and they’ve pressured me to be someone I’m not for my entire life.”
“Who do they want you to be?” Ellie asked, barely stopping herself from blurting out, “But you’re perfect.”
“A small-town man leading a small-town life. They want me to live quietly in a cabin with a wife and a bunch of kids, and never use a gun for anything but hunting. Ellie, I was a kid like you and Ethan, and my entire family lost their shit every time I took a risk or broke a rule. I couldn’t stand it. I ran away when I was seventeen and enlisted in the Navy.” He squeezed her shoulder. “So don’t feel like you’re the only one with the messed-up family. Join the club.”
She was surprised and touched by his story... and that he’d confide her. “Do they still get on your case now?”
Hal nodded, then gave a wry smile. “My parents were on the phone this morning, telling me to move to the country and have lots of babies.”
“Do you even have a girlfriend?” Ellie spoke without thinking, then instantly blushed. “Sorry. That’s none of my business.”
Hal’s hazel eyes focused on hers, and she forgot her embarrassment as she gazed into them. Their rich brown-green reminded her of a forest. All those colors. She could get lost in them. “No. No girlfriend.”
In the silence that fell, she became acutely sensitive to how close together they were sitting. His hand was still on her shoulder. All he’d need to do to kiss her was lower his head a little. She could imagine the press of his warm lips against hers, imagine the scratchiness of his stubble.
He stood up abruptly. “I know you’re tired. I’ll show you the spare bedroom.”