I told him, “It’s a deal. And my name’s Shane Garrity.”
Hal carried me through some pretty rough terrain, for hours, to a doctor in the little town he’s from.
He was afraid I’d die if I passed out again, so he talked to me to keep me awake. He told me all about himself— Ellie probably told you he used to be a Navy SEAL— and about Protection, Inc. He said his team were all shifters who didn’t fit in where they’d come from, but they fit with each other. I couldn’t talk much— by the time we got to town, I was having a lot of trouble breathing— but I did manage to tell him that I was a PJ and I used to rescue guys like him. He said he was glad to have the chance to return the favor.
Hal brought me to Dr. Bedford’s office. She was a bear shifter too, a black woman with wire-rimmed glasses and hair in cornrows.
Dr. Bedford examined me. She said it looked like my body was rejecting the ultimate predator process, like I’d been given a transfusion of the wrong blood type. I’d figured that much out. She told me I had a choice. She could keep me alive as long as possible, and hope that at some point, my shifter healing would kick in and either reverse the process or help my body adapt to it. But she’d have to put me on life support, which was exactly what I didn’t want. Or Hal could take me back to the forest and stay with me until I died.
By then I felt like Hal was a friend. I couldn’t do that to him. And it didn’t feel right to just give up and die. I’d never have gotten through the Pipeline if I was the kind of person who quit when things got tough. So I asked her to go ahead and put me on a ventilator.
Once she did that, I’d have a tube down my throat and I wouldn’t be able to talk. Hal asked me if there was anyone I wanted to call first, to come stay with me. I said no. So he said he’d stay with me. I told him he’d already gone above and beyond the call, and he didn’t need to do anything more. He said I wouldn’t have left him if he’d been wounded in action, and he wasn’t going to leave me. And that was that.
Being on life support was even worse than I’d imagined. My panther hated the machines and tubes and needles, and I was too weak to keep him from taking over and too out of it to explain that everything was there to help us. I kept waking up thinking I was back at Apex, and then I’d try to tear everything out. But Hal didn’t let me do anything to hurt myself. Sometimes he had to hold me down until Dr. Bedford could give me a sedative, but sometimes he just talked to me until I calmed down.
One time I came to feeling really bad. Dr. Bedford told me later that my heart had stopped. She and Hal had traded off doing CPR for forty minutes, and they’d been about ready to give up. But all I knew then was that my chest hurt and I felt like I was dying. Dr. Bedford was giving me a shot and looking worried, and Hal was slapping my face. Not hard, but enough to wake me up.
Once I opened my eyes, Hal grabbed my hand and said, “Stay with me, Shane.”
I was so far gone, I didn’t even recognize him. I thought he was Justin and I tried to ask him why he’d dyed his hair brown. But something was stuck in my throat, and I couldn’t speak.
He said, “Don’t try to talk. Just listen. Your panther’s stronger than you are. You have to let him fight for you now. Wake him up, and tell him to fight for his life.”
My head cleared a little, and I remembered who he was. I trusted that he knew what he was talking about. And I didn’t want to be the sort of person who gave up. I never had been, before. If I gave up now, that would prove that Apex really had broken me.
Hal wasn’t giving up either. He yelled at me, “Wake up your panther, Shane! Tell him to fight!”
I looked into myself until I found my panther. He didn’t look in any better shape than I was, but I woke him up and told him he had to fight for both of us.
At first he didn’t seem to care. That scared me. He’s my survival instinct, the part of me that wants to live no matter what. If my panther didn’t care if he lived or died, I was probably too far gone to make it.
In real life, I couldn’t speak or stand. But inside my mind, I could do anything. All it took was willpower. So I dragged my panther to his feet and slapped his face until he opened his yellow eyes and snarled at me.
“Your turn,” I said. “Fight for both of us. Fight for our lives!”
That took all my strength. Once I’d done it, I passed out.
Next time I woke up, I was feeling better. I was still on an IV and oxygen and a heart monitor, but I was off the ventilator. And if that hadn’t been enough to tell me I’d turned the corner, Hal wasn’t talking to me or pinning me down. He was in a chair beside my bed, fast asleep with a book in his lap.
I’d been on life support for a week. But once I was breathing on my own, I got better fast.
I never did tell Hal the whole story of what happened to me. You know more now than he does. But I told him enough that he knew that I couldn’t go back to my old life. So he offered me a job.
I wasn’t sure about working on a team again. I wasn’t sure about anything any more. But I trusted Hal. He’d gone above and beyond for me when all he knew about me was that I was a shifter and a PJ. And he’d already been trying to rescue me when all he knew was that I was sick and I needed help. I figured his team had to be all right. Also, I had no money, and I wanted to pay back Dr. Bedford.
So I joined Protection, Inc. Rafa, Fiona, Destiny, and Nick were already on the team. Lucas joined after I did. At first I felt like the odd man out, but after a while I realized that Hal hadn’t been kidding when he’d told me all of them were odd men out. Even him. But we did all fit together. Even me.
That was a year ago. I’ve been using a fake last name, and I don’t take assignments where I could end up on the news. I figured Apex had to think I was dead, and so long as I didn’t bring myself to their attention, they’d never learn otherwise. But either I slipped up or they got lucky.
You know the rest.
Chapter Nine
Shane
When Shane had begun his story, he hadn’t even been sure he could get through it. But it was easier to tell than he’d expected, especially with Catalina’s arms around him. She never let go and she never flinched, no matter what he’d confessed. By the end of it, he was even smiling a little, remembering what a jackass he’d been to Hal and how completely Hal had ignored Shane’s attempts to get rid of him.
Catalina also seemed to be recalling the same part. “You really don’t like being the person who gets rescued, instead of being the rescuer.”