While Aurelia rewrapped it, she said, "No, I've taken care of things like this before, and I can do it again."
But I pulled my arm away. "If your treatment stings as bad as you said before, I'll lose a whole day of practice just recovering."
"You could lose that arm!"
"And I'll lose my life if I don't learn this magic!" It sounded brave, but the truth was far more cowardly. Aurelia's treatments sounded like the kind of thing I wanted to avoid for as long as possible. Even the thought of her scrubbing that deep wound made me cringe. "We'll do it tonight, before bed."
Aurelia objected, but my mind was made up. Crispus quickly agreed with me, not because he cared about the pain her treatment would cause, but because he wanted the practice time as much as I did.
So he reclined again to eat, and slowly his eye wandered from me to Aurelia. "We could probably find out who your father was," he said to her. "Surely there are records kept of exposed children. Then it would be a matter of narrowing down the possibilities."
"Please don't," she said.
"Why not?" I asked. "If he can help --"
"It wouldn't help." Aurelia looked from me to Crispus, then her eyelashes fluttered and she returned to her food.
Not for the first time, I wondered who her family was. Were they poor, like my mother, and so exposure had offered her some hope of a better life? Or wealthy, like Crispus? If so, then my friendship with her was forbidden. Maybe that's why she had paused last night, when I'd asked if we were equals. Because she already knew the answer.
Crispus had gone back to eating. He'd probably only offered as a matter of good manners anyway. Unless Aurelia suddenly announced she was his sister, I doubted he'd give the matter a second thought.
"And what about you, Nic?" he said. "You told me your mother was Roman, but had fallen into slavery. Did she have skills to become a household slave?"
"Maybe." I had been so young when Sal sold her away from us, I really didn't know. "Five years ago, she brought my sister and me to the mines and told me it'd be safer if she lived elsewhere. I think she came to Rome, but I could be wrong about that."
"Wait," Aurelia said. "What did your mother mean that it was safer?"
I shrugged. "It was long ago. I was too young to ask such questions."
Crispus seemed to consider that settled. He got to his feet and said his father had suggested I begin practicing magic as soon as possible.
"Deep within the vineyards is a tract of land cleared for replanting," he said. "That would be a good place to practice, when you're ready."
I stood as well. "I'm ready now." Despite the worries that lingered inside me, I had to admit I was excited to finally learn how to control the magic. Every day it flowed with more strength, moving deeper inside me. At last I would have the chance to learn everything I could do with it.
The three of us walked side by side to the vineyards. Aurelia had somehow acquired a new bow and a quiver of arrows, and had already threatened me twice if I broke them. I told her I wouldn't break them if she agreed not to shoot me.
As we walked, Crispus explained that the origins of his family's vines could be traced back hundreds of years, much like his family's history.
"For a patrician in Rome, your family name is everything," he explained. "With a good name, you cannot fail here. With no name, you cannot succeed."
I glanced at Aurelia, who was making a serious effort to pretend she hadn't heard the talk of families, and wondered then about mine. From what I understood of my father, claiming his name wouldn't have helped me in life anyway. Maybe when Livia and I left Rome, I would offer to bring Aurelia with us. Then she wouldn't have to care so much about her name either.
"Is Valerius a good name, then?" Aurelia asked.
"It's a very fine name," Crispus said. "My family boasts of military leaders, senators, and other high officials. My father has hoped that I might one day become emperor myself."
Walking between Aurelia and Crispus, I couldn't help but notice the way she smiled when he said that. Aurelia got her reward money last night, so maybe she
considered Crispus her equal now. And why shouldn't she? In comparison to Crispus, I had nothing to offer her. Then I snorted quietly. In comparison to anyone at all, I had nothing. The unfortunate man who plucked the emperor's armpit hair could give her a better life than I could.
"But my becoming emperor is only a fantasy for my father, it could never become a reality," Crispus said sadly. "Much as I want to please him, I don't enjoy politics, so he rarely discusses it with me. I know I disappoint him."
"It doesn't seem that way," I said.
Crispus shrugged. "Things are rarely what they seem."
I didn't reply, mostly because I knew he was right.