I smiled. "Then you love me too?"
"I'm angry with you! If you want to hear anything more, you'll just have to live." She stood and then drew in a sharp breath.
"What is it?" I asked. Not that I could do anything about it.
"That stag we saw on Radulf's property a few nights ago; it's back."
I rotated my body until I could see it, passing between the columns of the Senate House. Its black eyes studied me a moment, and then Aurelia.
"This is no coincidence," Aurelia murmured.
Obviously not, though it was hardly at the top of my concerns. Only a moment later, Crispus called out that he had found bandages. The stag startled and darted around the corner of the basilica to the back of the building.
By the time Crispus placed the bandages in Aurelia's hands, she had forgotten about the stag. "Just hold still and let me bandage this," she said. "The wounds need to heal before you come with us to Britannia. Which I still believe you are going to do."
She returned to working on my back, which should've hurt. But it didn't. Instead, all I felt was the touch of a girl who expected me to survive so that I could marry her. With that thought floating in my head, suddenly I didn't hurt at all.
My trial was to take place in the same open forum where they had kept me chained up all night. Crispus was at my side when they released me from the fig tree and had a new green tunic with an embroidered gold border waiting to replace the one the whip had shredded yesterday. Aurelia wasn't with us anymore. Once Crispus had agreed with me that it was more important for her to keep watch over the amulets, she finally left. That was only an excuse to keep her away from the trial, of course, and she knew it. But she also knew Livia was leaving and someone had to stay with the amulets.
Crispus seemed to know that some sort of conversation had taken place between me and Aurelia, but he didn't ask and neither of us offered any information. I appreciated that. I had enough on my mind already, and I hoped he did too, namely what sort of clever excuses for my crimes he intended to offer.
He did appear to be deep in thought while the emperor's soldiers unchained me and led me to the front of a gathering crowd. Emperor Probus would sit on the rostra while I was made to kneel on the ground before him. Crispus stood to my right, so nervous he kept clearing his throat with the same urgency as if trying to swallow a cucumber whole. Brutus was on my left, and I was sure the temptation to kick me was bothering him. That was fine. The temptation to trip him as he paced back and forth was bothering me too.
"How's your back?" Crispus asked.
I noticed Brutus staring down at me. It still hurt to shrug, especially now that my back was wrapped in tight bandages held in place with honey. So instead, I flicked apart my fingers and said, "Whoever whipped me hits like a grandmother."
Crispus chuckled at the insult but became distracted by a passing official asking him a question. While they talked, Brutus crouched beside me, gripping my arm so tight that my jaw clenched in response. "This is your last chance. Tell me where the amulets are, promise to help me use them, and I will save your life in this trial. Otherwise, the emperor will order several times worse than what happened yesterday. If he does not recognize your citizenship, then Probus can order almost whatever he wants for your execution."
"I have no intention of dying today." I tried to pull my arm away, but failed.
"Do you think your intentions can save you?" Brutus asked. "Look up beside you at the boy who is providing your defense. By his own admission, he is no politician, no orator. He has never defended anyone before and has the unfortunate task of defending crimes everyone knows you have committed. If all your hope is left to Crispus, then you are doomed."
I looked him directly in the eyes. "It's not so much my faith in Crispus as my confidence in your ability to fail." Now I freed my arm. "Why has the Mistress put so much faith in a Praetor who has failed time and again to help her? Have you succeeded at anything she has asked? Once again, she is held in captivity, and you don't even know where she is."
"But you know," Atroxia said into my head. "If you die today, I am just as doomed as you are. I deserved my punishment, as you deserve yours. But neither of us deserves our curse, or our death. Please, Nicolas, obtain my forgiveness."
Brutus had flinched at my words, but then I had flinched at the Mistress too. Brutus quickly recovered, saying, "Where are the amulets, Nicolas? Where is the Mistress? Tell me so that I can ask for mercy upon you."
"What sort of mercy? Yours?" The idea of it nearly made me laugh. "Why would I agree to save my life only to have it placed in your hands? Is there anything you won't do to force my cooperation, anyone I care about who you will not touch? Once you have killed everyone who stands between you and my amulets, you will force me to create a Jupiter Stone, an act which will still get me killed." My eyes narrowed. "Is that your idea of mercy?"
He tapped the side of my cheek, playfully but still harder than I liked. "Yes, that is my mercy. And trust me, it would be better than this. Sit up straight, the emperor is coming. You're out of time."
When Emperor Probus entered the comitium, everyone who had gathered fell to their knees, then rose again upon his order. With chains still forcing me to stay down, all I could do was look up the marble steps at the emperor, cloaked once again in purple robes, but this time with a gold leaf crown on his head. Despite what he had allowed to happen yesterday, I still believed him to be a good man, not a madman like Caligula or evil like Nero, or even weak like the two emperors prior to him had been.
But Brutus was also correct that as a new emperor, Probus needed to prove his strength to the people. I was guilty of nearly all the crimes of which I'd been accused, any one of which was punishable in the most severe way. Even if I tried to claim innocence, at least half the population of Rome had seen enough of my crimes to speak against me and seal my fate.
"Nicolas Calva," the emperor boomed, "you were brought here from Gaul as a slave of the empire and assigned to work in the mines. Is that where you found Julius Caesar's bulla?"
"Yes."
"Surely you knew its value and knew it did not belong to you. Why didn't you give it to the empire?"
"I tried to warn the empire about it, and about the threats that would come if they ignored the power of this amulet. Their response was a promise to kill me."
Crispus cast me a glare. In hindsight, it might've been unwise to remind Probus that the empire already had a verdict pronounced upon me.
"The empire's decision was correct." Probus leaned forward in his seat. "You were a slave, and a runaway slave at that. There's never been any value in your life."