“I want to hear the truth.”
“The truth is what the ruler of the Scarlet Throne declares it to be.”
“Enough bantering of words!” I said as we continued to trudge forward. “Why did you come for me in these tunnels?”
Rosaleen said, “I saw what happened to your former handmaiden when her heart was crushed. I prefer to avoid that fate.”
I started to tell her that, for Simon’s sake, I was hoping to avoid crushing her heart. But I didn’t say it. That hardly seemed like the right choice of words while I still needed her help.
In a softer tone, I asked, “If Endrick’s magic could stop a heart, could it start one beating again?”
No one answered at first; then after we rounded another bend, Lore said, “He did that for your father once. For Sir Henry.”
I paused. “When?” I’d never heard of such a thing.
“While you were … missing from the kingdom, two or three years ago, there was a Corack uprising. Their captain, a man who goes by the name of Tenger, managed to stab your father straight through the heart. He was dead, my lady. I saw it myself, and with such a wound, how could he be otherwise? But the next morning, Sir Henry stood in front of us all, alive and well, ordering punishments on everyone he felt had failed to protect him during that battle. Nothing could have healed him except Lord Endrick’s magic.”
By then, a ladder leading to the tunnel’s exit had become visible. Lore went up first, to ensure the area was secure. I turned to Rosaleen. “Simon is your brother.”
Something flickered in her eyes, fear perhaps, but she quickly took control of it. “We had a mother too, once. If you intend to kill my brother as well, then I beg you to crush my heart now.”
The person I had once been would have been hurt by her accusation, but I felt nothing now, cared nothing for a death I had not caused and could not have prevented. Or at least, I was trying to feel nothing. With no words in my mind for a response, I merely stared at her before I silently climbed the ladder out of the tunnels. A minute later, Rosaleen followed.
Once safely on the surface, I said to them, “Will you serve me by choice? Not because of any threat to your lives but because you believe in me as your queen. Will you stay and help me see this through to the end?”
Silence followed as Lore and Rosaleen looked at each other, neither wanting to be the first to speak, but both of them clearly with something they wanted to say.
“Are you so afraid of me?” I finally asked.
Their eyes lowered, giving me their answer.
“I am not Lord Endrick,” I said to them.
“You have his magic, and there is an echo of his voice when you speak, my lady,” Lore said.
Prove him right.
The words entered my mind so forcefully, it was as though they came from somewhere beyond myself. And yet they had been my thoughts, my instincts. My own desires.
I said again, “Will you serve me by choice?”
More silence, then Lore stepped forward, his head lowered as if expecting the worst. “What happens if we refuse?”
My mind raced with possibilities, with everything I wanted to say, every threat to force them to bend to my will. With a clench of my fist, I could make them obey, or simpler still, with a single touch, I could take their strength to myself and enter the throne room as strong as all of them put together. I didn’t need them to serve me. I only needed their strength.
It was easy to reach out my hand toward this bold man who had dared to question me, and far more difficult to pull it back. But I had to do it.
Because something had changed in me last night. Separated from my corruption for a few hours, I had a brief glimpse of who I had been, and who I now was. I missed the girl I had been once: Reckless and arrogant and deeply flawed, but still at my core, I had thought myself to be a good person. I wanted to hold on to that Kestra for as long as I could.
So I said, “If you choose not to follow me, then you can walk away now, as free Antorans. But I ask you to consider who now sits on the Scarlet Throne. If we allow Joth Tarquin to remain there, what will your future be?”
“What is my future now?” Lore asked. “My brother was among the Ironhearts you attacked as they marched into Highwyn. You gave the Ironhearts there the same promise you’re offering now. Then you and the boy who now sits on the throne killed them all. I don’t know what will happen once I walk away, but I will walk away. I can serve corruption no longer, not you or Joth Tarquin, or Lord Endrick himself. Indeed, my lady, I don’t think there is any difference between any of you.”
Unprepared for that accusation, I recoiled. Had he slapped me he could not have hurt me more. By the time I looked up, only Rosaleen remained.
“You can go too,” I told her. “I want you to go. Your brother is desperate to see you.”
“I vowed to serve the Infidante,” she said. “If she is still there inside you—”