My heart felt like lead as Rawk carried me away from All Spirits Forest. Kestra had been in those forbidden woods for weeks, close enough that I easily should have been able to find her.
If I had known, I would have found a way inside, at whatever price, or risk, or effort. And if I had done so, I might have staved off the corruption. More important, I could have warned her against connecting powers with Joth, spreading corruption to him.
I had never in my life felt worse than at that moment, and in the end, what was her sacrifice for? Yes, maybe she fulfilled her task as Infidante, and Endrick was dead, but what good did that do for us?
I sat up taller on Rawk’s back, absorbing that thought. Yes, Kestra had fulfilled her task as Infidante. Upon completion of the quest, she had no longer been the Infidante. Stabbing Joth with the Olden Blade might have injured him physically, but only an Infidante with authority to use the Olden Blade could kill him.
We needed a new Infidante.
I sent that thought to Rawk, to hurry us to Woodcourt, and indeed we did fly in that direction, but then we passed directly overhead.
Rawk, go back. I sent the thought first, and when he failed to respond, I said aloud, “Rawk, this isn’t right!”
Rawk began a dive, but we were still farther up the hill from Woodcourt, closer to the palace than I wanted to be on my own. With little concern for the danger we were in, Rawk steered us through a narrow breach in the thick canopy of trees. Though most had lost their leaves for the winter, I had no desire to crash through their branches.
He landed us in a small clearing, but I wasn’t going anywhere. He knew what I wanted, and I’d wait as long as it took for him to obey me.
Rawk’s only response was to widen his wings and arch his back, forcing me to the ground. I stood up straight, furious. “This is important!”
He remained still, leaving me with no choice but to walk from the forest alone, cursing his stubbornness. Finally, I heard the crackle of dried leaves and turned, expecting to see Rawk following me. Instead, from the same position where he’d stood before, he pulled his wings in.
At the very moment Kestra entered the clearing.
Impossible.
My heart crashed against my chest, and time itself froze. This was more than impossible, more than I could make myself understand. But there she was.
Once Kestra saw me, she wrapped her cloak tighter around her body and briefly looked back as if she was considering leaving. I couldn’t allow that.
“Kestra, don’t go. Please don’t go.”
She looked at me again and seemed to want to say something, but her eyes were full of tears and she swallowed hard, as if choking on her own words.
There was so much I had to say to her too, but for all I had thought I would say if a moment like this ever came, suddenly I couldn’t think of a single word.
Still facing me, she took a step backward, like a frightened deer that knew it was trapped.
That was how she felt then, trapped.
As if I were the enemy.
Finally, she spoke. “Simon, I have to—”
“I thought you were dead.” I began walking toward her.
“Listen, I must tell you—”
“I thought you were dead, Kestra.”
And like that, I was directly in front of her, staring at her as if she were a forgotten memory from a past life. Maybe she was.
Tears filled my eyes. “You saved my life today. But then I saw you fall when the Olden Blade failed. Then when Joth announced you were dead … well, I believed it. I’m so sorry.”
“I …” Her voice trailed off with that single word. She tried again. “Simon, I—”
“I know. But everything is all right now.”
“It isn’t.” She widened her cloak, and for the first time, I saw the hastily wrapped bandage around her shoulder, bleeding through the fabric.