I saw signs of a few skirmishes that must have happened here, but the deeper I went, the louder the sounds of battle became, the thicker the scent of blood and smoke. I couldn’t imagine what yet awaited me.
Then up ahead, I saw a body resting against a tree and drew in a sharp breath. That was Simon! Was he—
I crept up to him, crouching at his side and watching for the rise and fall of his chest beneath his coat. I saw it and finally released the tense breath locked in my throat. His face was dirty, and speckles of blood flecked one cheek. His shoulder bore a deep cut and was still bleeding. I put my hand over his wound and with a little concentration, felt the injury come to me. Not all of it—Loelle had said no more than half. But I gave enough to stop the bleeding.
He’d be angry when he figured out I’d used magic to heal the wound, but what did that matter now? I wouldn’t apologize for having magic, nor should I have to. Still, I wished we had spoken about it before he got a demonstration.
Simon stirred and then his eyes flickered open, immediately settling on me. They creased at the corners as he took me in, blinking a few times in disbelief. I knew I should say something, but in the moment, I didn’t know how to begin the conversation. Or how to continue it past “hello.” Or how to speak to him at all.
“Kes?” he mumbled, looking genuinely confused.
Then from out of nowhere, I heard a shout and saw a Dominion soldier headed toward me, his sword out. I stood in time to clash swords with him, but when he swung at me again, I snatched his hand and immediately pulled as much strength as I could from him, enough to instantly drop him to his knees. He stumbled through a few words of bewilderment, then fell unconscious.
I immediately turned to Simon, whose eyes had become wary, maybe even fearful of me. Without speaking, he looked down at his healed shoulder and then over at the fallen soldier, taking time to absorb what he’d seen. “What have you done?”
“He would’ve killed you!”
Simon closed his eyes, though the tension in his face remained and his disappointment was as evident as his despair. “But the way you stopped him … with magic.”
Kneeling beside him, I said, “The things I can do now … I can change this battle. I can defeat Lord Endrick.”
I’d never expected him to cheer for the news that I’d acquired magic, but couldn’t he at least try to see the good it might accomplish? Instead, he sat up straighter and rubbed his shoulder, taking far longer than he should have. When he looked up again, his eyes were even colder than before.
“Be careful, Kes. It’s dangerous to play with the power of life and death.”
I pointed to the sword at his side. “And what is that you carry? Does it not also let you play with life and death?”
“That is not the same! I never want to use this sword!”
“And I never asked for this power! But if you must sometimes take life, why is it wrong for me to give life?”
“Because it comes at a price. You give to someone who is dying, and a piece of you disappears. You take life and absorb a piece of them. In time, how do you know that won’t fracture you?”
I stood, full of fire and frustration, but trying not to shout. “Simon, I’m still me!”
“What does that mean?” Something burst inside him too. “Because at any given moment, I don’t know who you are anymore. Are you a Dallisor? Corack? Endrean?”
His words cut me deeper than he might have known. Barely able to look at him, I said, “I remember you telling me that no matter who I was, you’d always care for me.”
“Care for you?” He grunted. “All you remember of us is that I care for you?”
His words hung in the air like a fog growing between us. I continued staring at him, but I no longer saw him, not really. A tear escaped my eye. “I’m alive, Simon. I thought you’d at least be happy about that.”
A heavy silence followed before he finally stood, though he wasn’t making the effort to get any closer to me. “After all that we’ve been through, how can you believe that I only care for you?”
“Simon?” A rather pretty Halderian girl was running toward him, her sword out. “I saw—oh.”
She had noticed me and immediately lowered her sword. She tossed a look from Simon to the fallen Dominion soldier, and finally back to me, then said, “I’m Harlyn Mindall. And you’re the Infidante.”
“This is Kestra Dallisor,” Simon said, blandly motioning toward me.
An awkward silence fell between the three of us. My head was spinning from the words Simon and I had just exchanged. If I’d been unsure before of his feelings for me, I was more confused now. I didn’t even know if we were still friends—let alone whatever we used to be. And it was obvious that he and Harlyn were. Maybe even more than friends.
She finally said to him, “I didn’t mean to intrude. It’s just that the battle—”
“That’s why I came,” I said, eager for any reason to escape. “For the battle. Only the battle.” And I left.
Simon called my name, but I ran until I emerged into the clearing, instantly assaulted by the sights and sounds of a terrible battle. I became surrounded by a tangle of soldiers and fighters wearing Reddengrad uniforms and Halderian colors, and scattered animals, some running about in a leaderless frenzy, others injured, others still attacking whoever was within reach of their claws or teeth, without regard to uniform.