I tried to absorb his words the way he wanted me to. Tried to pretend that wanting the words to be true would make them true. But that wasn’t enough.
He asked, “Do you want to go? Or do you feel you have to go?”
My answer froze in my throat. I was only aware that his hands were circling around my back and he was drawing me to him again.
“Because if you want to stay here, we’ll find a way.”
“Tenger said—”
His eyes rolled. “And Gerald says, and Loelle says, and everyone has something to say about whether we can be together. But we don’t have to listen to them. I’m telling you, Kes, they’re wrong.”
“How do you know?”
His answer came with another brush of his lips against mine, sending my heart racing. Before he pulled away, I stole a second kiss, a deeper kiss, and one that invited him to stay for a third. He backed me against the garden wall, and I molded my body to his, shivering beneath the lines of his fingers, warming when his hand flattened across my back, bringing me even closer.
His lips drifted to my jaw, then close to my ear where he whispered, “I know they’re wrong, because I know that what I feel for you is real. I’m in love with you, Kes.”
I pulled back, my heart pounding in my ears. Had I truly heard those words? Happiness flooded through me, carrying a peace such as I’d never felt before.
But nothing so good could ever last.
From the entrance of the garden, someone coughed loudly, then called, “Your Grace?”
Simon leaned back and rolled his eyes. “Yes?”
“You are wanted, my king.”
Simon’s expression was full of irritation when he looked back at me, but I said, “Go to your people.”
“Please don’t leave. We’ll speak tomorrow. We’ll figure this out.” When I nodded, he smiled and gave me a final kiss. “I will see you again soon. I promise.”
I returned his smile as he left, though I didn’t miss the tender way he brushed a hand over his right arm. Something there was bothering him. I could help, when I was stronger. Tomorrow. Until then, I ran a finger over my lips, sealing the memory of what had just passed between us.
He loved me. That was real.
And for now, it was enough.
Because of the rapidly cooling weather, Simon offered us rooms in the manor that was serving as his castle-in-exile. It was smaller than Woodcourt and far less grand, but it seemed to be the finest home here in Nessel and had escaped any damage from when the Dominion had come through. I was assigned a room with Trina and Loelle while the men were in another room down the corridor.
Sometime in the middle of the night, someone jostled my shoulder. I bolted upright in bed, instinctively reaching for the Brillian sword until Loelle’s hand came over my mine and she whispered my name.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, deeply alarmed by the terse set of Loelle’s expression and the late hour.
“Get dressed.” Loelle handed me an overdress for my shift. “Trina will help you.”
Like Loelle, Trina was already awake and dressed. While I laced and buttoned the overdress, she fetched my boots, then handed me the satchel I’d taken from Wynnow when I escaped Brill. “You’ll want this,” she whispered.
“What’s happening?” I asked. “Are we leaving?”
Before anyone answered, a knock came at the door. Loelle opened it and I heard her brief mumblings with Gerald, then she turned and said, “Trina, will you keep watch in the corridor?”
Trina handed me the Brillian sword to strap to my side, gave me a grim smile, and obeyed.
“Keep watch for what?” I asked, worry be
ginning to claw at my heart.
Gerald entered and shut the door, then he and Loelle faced me, looking deadly serious.