"This secret is my only chance to live!"
Silence collapsed the world between us. Our own Pit of Eternal Consequence where we might fall forever. I wanted to believe him, just as I wanted to believe in him, and that somewhere ahead was a tomorrow that belonged only to the two of us.
But we had gotten too close to the edge. I could not give away this secret, and he would not give in until he had what he wanted.
Our story was never going to end any other way.
I scooted back against the side of the wagon. Waiting for him to say something and knowing he wouldn't, because nothing he'd say could fix this. A pit had opened inside me, one that I doubted would ever be filled again.
So this was what it felt like when a heart shattered.
If Tenger knew I'd kissed her, if he knew I'd kissed her like that, I'd be expelled from the Coracks. Tenger would say there was no way I could have such strong feelings for Kestra and still be loyal to his orders. Maybe that was true.
Further complicating things was the way our kiss had ended. Kestra was at the far side of the wagon now, staring at me as if I should have some brilliant solution to the hundreds of problems she had created. Maybe if I understood a fraction of the way her brain worked, I'd know what to say. Why did she have to complicate everything? Why did she have to be so complicated, a jumble of lines that intersected and diverged and encircled each other with no discernible reason?
She obviously felt confused, and I couldn't blame her for that. For her, every cubit of Antora had become a land mine. Everyone she met for the rest of her life would be treated with suspicion, because they all had a good reason to seek her out.
So did I, but for very different reasons. Kestra had become like fire to me. I needed her, I was drawn to her, but being this close was burning me. This must be why Gerald had warned me not to fall in love with her. But I doubted I had any choice. Not anymore.
Why did it have to be this way? Couldn't I love her and remain dedicated to the Coracks? Couldn't Kestra become part of the search for the Infidante?
No, not part of the search. Kestra had claimed that responsibility solely for herself. No one else knew where the Olden Blade was, a fact more dangerous than her bloodline. Surely she knew that the future of our entire country was at stake. Why was she doing this?
Suddenly, I began to understand that jumble of lines intersecting and twisting within her. I couldn't stretch them out straight enough to answer any of these knotted questions. I didn't even know where to start.
Across the wagon, Kestra still hadn't said a word. Finally, I whispered, "Talk to me, please."
Before she could speak, the wagon halted. I lifted a finger, warning her to remain silent. Then I listened, hoping to pick up any clue as to where we were or why we had stopped so abruptly.
It was probably nothing. Maybe the driver had simply arrived at his destination or was taking a break to stretch his legs. But it was strangely quiet outside, and my instincts warned me to be careful.
I parted the back flap of the canvas to look out but as soon as my hand was spotted, someone grabbed it and yanked me from the wagon, over the backboard, and dropped me on the ground like a hot coal.
Before I could warn Kestra to run, someone introduced his boot to my ribs, a younger man. At least it wasn't a Dominion soldier's iron-toed boot.
The older man who had been the driver snarled, "Stowing away in my wagon, you thief! You'd better hope there's something in here to pay me for the ride!" He put a boot on my chest, then bent down and pulled the satchel from my shoulder.
I shook my head. "Don't!" But the boot punched down on me again.
The driver stuck his finger through Garr's ring that had been in the bottom of the satchel and showed it to his companion. "Look at what I found! This should fetch a fine price at market."
"Remove that from your finger or I will cut it off!" Kestra yelled as she jumped from the wagon, holding my sword.
The younger man chuckled as he swaggered toward her. "Aren't you a pretty thing? Be careful, or you might hurt yourself."
Her grin darkened. "It won't be me who gets hurt." She lifted the sword with a confidence that would unnerve the bravest warrior and charged over to the man. The tip of it must have connected somewhere, because a second later, I heard him stifle a cry.
"That's a scratch." Kestra nodded at the driver, who had almost frozen in place since she emerged. "You'll get worse if you don't put that ring back inside the satchel and return it to my friend. Now!"
Instead of cooperating, the driver put his boot back on my chest. I didn't know why he bothered. They'd already done enough damage there.
"I've seen your face before," the driver said. "On my tablet, I think."
Kestra didn't blink. "That girl you saw on the tablet doesn't exist. But I do, and my sword is just as real. Let him go."
"Thieves and stowaways," he continued. "The rot of Antora. One day the Dominion will punish you all."
"As they'll punish you for singing?" Kestra asked. "If you were going to break the law, I wish, at least, you'd have stayed in tune."