They had killed Darrow.
I couldn't breathe.
Silvenians ran past me, some of them urging me along with them, but I didn't move. I didn't care enough to try.
I had made myself a traitor. Abandoned my family name, and with it, every comfort, every security I'd ever known. All to save Darrow.
Somewhere behind me, a horse charged through the crowd. I squinted up and saw Simon there, offering me his hand. I only stared back at it. "Darrow's dead."
Another explosion behind us shook the earth, momentarily throwing me off balance. Simon's eyes flicked to what little remained of the bookshop, then he held out his hand again. "We've got to go, Kes."
"Did you hear me?" I screamed. "Darrow is dead!"
He dismounted, grabbed me by the waist, and pushed me onto the horse. When he climbed back into the saddle behind me, he put one arm around my waist and said, "I'm sorry, I really am. But if we don't leave, others will be mourning for us."
Somehow I held myself together as we rode alongside the fleeing Silvenians. Tears streamed down my face, and my chest filled with more pain than I'd thought any person could contain. I didn't understand how I was still able to breathe, and barely cared if I did. Through all of that, we kept riding.
Less than a mile later, Simon turned left at a crossroad, taking us toward some hills on the outskirts of the town.
Waiting for us there, also on horseback, were Tenger and Gabe. Trina was with them, but had an oropod with yellow-green markings that she must have taken from one of the Dominion soldiers. I was surprised that she knew how to approach such a creature without getting bitten, much less to ride one. I certainly didn't. Gabe had a deep cut on one arm, much worse than mine, but Trina and Tenger seemed to have escaped the worst of the battle. Were they good at fighting, I wondered, or better at hiding while their townspeople fought? While Darrow died.
"Let's take care of this," Tenger said, eyeing me. "Before she leads the armies to us as well."
Trina raised a knife. "She won't do that." A wicked gleam brightened her eyes. "Let's see if you trust me now."
We rode into the hills until we were far enough from town that the battle noises became little more than an echo. How many deaths did each explosion represent? I couldn't help but wonder, and couldn't bear to think of the answer. A part of me remained in Silven, on that road in front of the bookshop. I never should've joined the fight. How arrogant that had been, to think I would make any difference. I should have gone directly into the bookshop to get Darrow.
Still behind me, Simon had a hand on my arm. I barely felt it. "Maybe he escaped."
Maybe. But it hurt too much to have hope.
The hills we were entering contained mostly grassland, dotted with trees as we rode higher. We dismounted behind the hills, where we'd have some privacy, at least until Endrick tracked me again.
"What'll happen to the people back in Silven?" Gabe asked Tenger.
The captain only shrugged. "I hope the Coracks we left behind can do enough damage to save as many people as possible. But it won't be pretty. That was a slaughter."
"It's her fault." Trina flung an accusing finger in my direction. "She brought them to us."
"She didn't know!" Simon said, crossing in front of me. "And she lost someone too."
Everyone in the group stopped to look at me, which I hated. In a gentle tone that actually sounded sincere, Trina said, "I'm sorry, Kestra. I really am."
Tenger added, "That was never the plan."
I didn't look at him, couldn't force myself to. Did it matter that Darrow's death was not in the plan?
Then Tenger continued, "We'll discuss this later, but for now, that tracker must come out. Trina, get your knife ready."
"No!" I grabbed Simon's wrist, holding it with an iron grip. I knew little about medicine, but Trina's knife was filthy. Using that to cut into my flesh couldn't be good. Of course, keeping the tracker in my neck was worse.
Tenger's voice was matter-of-fact. "If you won't cooperate, our alternative is to tie you to this tree and all ride away."
"Let us do this, please." Simon put his hand over mine, hoping I would trust his words. "There's no other choice. They'll already be tracking you to this spot. Tracking all of us."
This time, there was no demand in his eyes, only a pleading for me to listen to him, to believe him. I wiped my clammy hands on my skirts, mumbling, "Just do it!" The less time I had to think about it, the better.
We were near a large poplar tree that had partially fallen, its trunk suspended from the ground by other trees that blocked its path. Tenger directed me to kneel beside it and then to lean my forehead against the trunk so that my neck would be angled upward. Simon knelt on the opposite side of the tree and took my hands firmly in his. "I'll be with you the whole time," he said. "You'll get through this."