When she looked up at him, there were tears in her eyes. “Do you realize that they think I’m a woman of low morals who is trying to make you desert your country? Or maybe I’m a spy trying to wheedle classified information out of you. Whatever it is, I’m judged to be the guilty one!”
“I know,” he said softly. “I will straighten this out. I will take the blame for every bit of it.”
She looked up at him. “I can’t figure out anything that’s going on in my life right now. Since the moment I met you, everything has been turned upside down. My friend Lexie suddenly left the island, I was given a huge event to plan, and my day job was taken from me. And there you were through all of it. It’s like you made everything happen.”
Graydon was standing by the door and his posture seemed to stiffen with every word she spoke.
“But why?” she said. The tears were running down her cheeks. “What is between us? For days you were like the best girlfriend in the world. We went places and did things together. I loved every minute of it. But there was nothing …” She took a breath. “There was never even a hint of intimacy between us. Nothing physical, no sharing of secrets. Not one bit of real closeness. For all that we’ve been living together, we are strangers.”
At that, Graydon’s stiffness—his protection from the world—left. “Is that what you think?” he said, and he sounded both shocked and offended. “I have never shared what I have with you with anyone else, not even my brother.”
She stood up. She’d not been aware of it but anger had been building in her for quite a while. “That’s not how I see it.”
Graydon frowned as he seemed to be trying to figure out what had triggered this outburst. “Lorcan should not have told you of my dislike of the Ulten cheese. It was not her place.”
Toby made her hands into fists. “That isn’t about cheese. That woman was letting me know that you belong to her.”
Graydon looked shocked. “Lorcan and I have never—”
Toby threw up her hands. “How can men be so dumb? How are you able to dress yourselves when you have no brains at all?”
Graydon’s eyes widened.
Letting out her breath, Toby unclenched her fists. “Has a woman ever yelled at you before?”
“No,” he said. “And may I say that I find it quite confusing? I have tried to be courteous at all times. I have had a few lapses in decorum. You in your …” He motioned up and down with his hand. “I should not have stayed in the room with you when you were so scantily attired, but I could not make myself leave.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” She wiped away the tears. She no longer felt like crying. Now only anger ran through her. “Is Daire married?” she asked abruptly.
“No, he is not.”
“I just wondered because he let me know that if I’m willing, he is. Right now, I’m thinking that I’ll take him up on his offer.” With that, she went to the door and stepped into the old bedroom.
Graydon caught her by the arm. His face was fierce. If she didn’t know him she would have been frightened. “You will not bed my man.”
She glared at him. “The last I heard, I have free will.” She jerked away from his grasp, took a step forward, then looked back. “You want to know a truth about me?” She didn’t give him time to reply. “I’m not a virgin because I’m ‘saving myself for marriage.’ That was something I said because it’s fashionable. The truth is that no man has ever made me feel that passion I read about. When I was in college the girls would come in with their clothes on backward, then giggle about it. But I didn’t! Never once was I tempted by any of those boys. But when Daire looked at me, I did consider it. But then I realized that since you’re just a shorter, paler version of him, it was really you who I wanted, but—” She threw up her hands. “Oh, what does it matter? It’s not like you have any interest in me.” Turning, she started for the stairs down.
“Is that what this is about?” Graydon said from behind her. “You think I don’t desire you?”
She looked back at him, glaring. “Of course it isn’t. You’re engaged to someone else. Or you almost are. You’re going to marry someone who I bet is an overly tall woman with black eyes who would look down her nose at a washed-out blonde like me. I bet she can fight with a lance or any other weapon. Hey! Nantucket has a harpoon-throwing contest, so maybe Lorcan and your beloved Danna could enter. I’m sure they’d win.”
Toby ran down the stairs and he caught her at the bottom, his hands on her shoulders. “Let me go!”
But he didn’t release her. He put his face close to hers. “How can you not know?” he said, his eyes nearly as angry as hers. “How can you not feel what I go through every day with you? To be so near you yet not be allowed to touch you tears me apart. I lie awake at night, in the room so close to yours, and dream of going to you, of slipping into bed with you and pulling you into my arms.”
“But you’ve never said or done anything to make me think that’s true.”
“I dream of kissing your neck.” His eyes seemed to turn to black coals and every spark showed his desire for her. As his fingertips cut into her upper arms, she saw a different man from the one who laughed so easily. This man didn’t seem to laugh about anything. This man looked like one of his Lanconian warrior ancestors.
He pulled Toby against his hard chest, not gently but with force. “In the morning I lean over you so I can smell your hair. Just one soft whiff is all I ask.”
“Graydon,” she whispered, but he didn’t let her speak.
“I have seen women of all nationalities, all shapes and sizes, but I have never desired any of them as I do you.” His voice was more of a growl than a human sound. “I have wanted to touch you, caress you, make love to you, since the first day.”
Toby was blinking up at him, her eyes wide. He was making her feel as she’d never felt before. For the first time in her life she was experiencing what other girls did, what made them sigh and giggle—and it felt glorious! Powerful, really. Never in her life had she felt … well, so very pleased to be a woman.
It was tempting, like original-sin tempting, to hold her lips up to his and … Then what? They’d go at it on the floor?