Forbidden Fate (Crowne Point 3)

Before he comes.

To fuck her.

His wife.

Whatever I thought I’d heard in Grayson’s voice was a mirage of my own desires. Over and over again he chose her.

“If we have to be stuck together, can you just…try a little?” Lottie wasn’t haughty or imperial with her request, like the Crownes; she was beseeching. Of me. A servant.

I blinked. “I’m sorry. I…lost track of time.” I quickly dashed past her, pulling the ivory lace off the window.

I wanted to apologize again, but I knew there was no point. I trailed after Lottie back into Grayson’s wing.

Grayson and her wing.

Sometime while I’d been away, someone had come and decorated the hollow room with flowers and candles. Who? I wondered. They couldn’t have made my uncle? But then, West had gotten in as well…A distant part of me worried for Grayson. His fortress was slowly eroding.

Lottie made a noise, and I realized I’d been standing for too long. I quickly got to my knees, placing the soft fabric at her feet.

“Your foot, miss,” I said.

I had to go inside myself, numbing to the situation. At least I had practice—it was how I’d lived when my mother was alive.

“It’s Mrs.” Lottie stepped into the hole I’d built in the fabric.

“Of course.” I lifted the spidery fabric up her naked hazelnut curves. “I apologize.”

I adjusted the corset material that pushed her breasts up, made sure everything fit properly, but I didn’t step back right away. My fingers rested on the thin satin bows at her shoulders. I was so close to Lottie I could smell her sweet floral scent, but my eyes had wandered. Silky white roses left a bread crumb trail up to the second floor, and against everything in my body telling me not to, my eyes followed them up to the bedroom.

I’d taken Grayson’s virginity. Was Lottie a virgin? Would he take hers tonight? Unless…had they already done it? I felt possession grow inside me. This must be that ugly, patriarchal disease men get when they learn women are virgins.

Now I have it.

I took Grayson’s virginity, and I don’t want anyone else to touch him. He’s mine.

Lottie cleared her throat.

She was just an inch taller than me, and our eyes locked.

“Are you a virgin?” I asked.

I stepped back instantly, eyes finding the floor. Oh my god.

Oh my god.

A stale silence threaded its way between us.

“You’re wondering if he slept with me already,” she said at last. “Is it killing you?”

I swallowed but said nothing.

It wasn’t killing me, because I was pretty sure all the important pieces of me had already died.

“Because I know he slept with you,” Lottie said. “The entire fucking world knows now.”

I crushed a petal beneath my foot.

“All night I’ve been wondering which of us felt worse…but I think we’re both in the same hell, just different wallpaper.”