I turned away from the window. “What am I missing?”
A flicker of a smile. “A joint.”
An idea popped into my head. It had been years, almost a decade, but I wondered… I pulled open Lottie’s drawer beneath me and rooted around until my hand met the small ziplock baggie.
Holy shit.
I lifted it out, pulling out a lighter and a joint. It was probably dry as shit, but whatever.
Her mouth dropped open, and she scrambled
to me.
“You hid these in here?” She got to her knees, looking around with her arm. “What else did you hide?” Her eyes found mine from the floor.
I exhaled smoke with a grin. “Cameras.”
She slapped my knee. For a minute, the air was light. So of course it fucking shattered like glass.
Outside, I finally spotted Snitch.
With fucking West.
“I have to wear a suit?” I asked, tone careful, watching them walk the white stone paths along the fountain.
“I think I’ll wear the dove dress,” she said. “So anything dark gray…” Lottie continued, telling me what would match, what her mother would expect. Snitch tripped, and West caught her elbow.
My vision blacked.
Lottie’s voice faded into nothing.
I stamped the joint out against her windowsill like I used to, absently noting there was still a charred mark.
I didn’t realize I was standing until Lottie spoke. “Did you hear me? What are you doing?”
I’m about to go put your brother in the ground.
“Uh…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Gonna get dressed, go to dinner, I guess.”
“We still have an hour before then.”
“Then why don’t you show me what’s changed around here?”
Lottie’s face fell a little. “Nothing’s changed.”
I looked for something to lift the mood, spotting the perfect thing on her bed.
I lifted up a Beanie Baby. “Yeah, you’re still addicted to Beanie Babies.”
“Only this one.” She snatched it from me and shoved it under her pillow. “I don’t really like keeping them around.” As Lottie always did, she tried to hide the melancholy in her voice. Maybe I should have let her.
“Why?”
“I always bought them when I felt unloved, unappreciated, unwanted. I guess it’s a little pathetic how many I had. It’s like a shrine to how little I was loved.”
I stared at the pastel-green stuffed animal. “So why keep that one?”
“I bought it the day after you kissed me.”