“Mom!” Charlotte gasped like she’d been punched.
I stared at my untouched bird.
“A toast to the Cinderella of Du Lac Manor, then,” Mrs. Du Lac said. I lifted my eyes, finding hers. “May she…” Mrs. du Lac trailed off, thinking, and my gut tightened in anticipation. “May she always get home on time.”
A soft smile drifted across her lips, eyes sharp. I smiled back, refusing to show how her toast had hurt.
I lifted my glass, noting the smudged lipstick, when Grayson’s voice drifted down the table. “Should you be drinking that?”
I froze, panic thundering in my breast. I mentally ran through any response I could give that wouldn’t sound suspicious, trying to keep my face neutral. Had he lost his fucking mind?
“It’s water,” I eventually rasped. “So.”
“Well, um, no wine for me either,” Lottie added. “Since we’re trying for a baby and all.”
I choked on my water, teary eyes flashing up to his. Trying for a baby? Lottie and Grayson were trying for a baby?
Grayson choked on his spit.
“That’s wonderful news,” both Mrs. du Lac and Tansy said at the same time.
I stood up so fast my chair nearly toppled, and all eyes came to me.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to…I need to pee.”
Soft laughter followed me out of the room. I was probably supposed to say something like powder my nose, but whatever.
Trying for a baby.
I dragged my hands down my face as I pushed the swinging double doors open to the kitchen. A small voice in my head said, You’re not supposed to go here anymore. But the louder one said trying for a baby.
I ignored the glares of servants who’d served me an undercooked bird with a dirty fork, heading to the pantry, taking deep, heaving breaths inside.
The pantry was warm and smelled like butter and cookies.
He was going to have a baby.
And I was married to West.
It hadn’t felt real until this moment. It was like I was propelled through all of it by flight or fight. In adrenaline-induced instinct. It was all a blur.
West picking me up in…a silver car, I think, or maybe black. Walking up the steps together, or maybe he went first.
I must have said I do…I had to have.
Everything just piled on until I couldn’t see beneath the weight. First Grayson leaving me, then the wedding, my uncle, the pregnancy…it buried me until I couldn’t see, only struggle to breathe.
Now it had lifted.
And it was blinding.
Tears welled in my eyes. “Oh my god.”
I grasped the pantry shelf to keep from crumbling. I tried to breathe. I couldn’t. I was married to West.
What did I do?
I swallowed air as the door opened behind me, then shut. I spun, expecting a servant. Grayson leaned against the door, light shining through the opaque glass at his back.