“It’s so hard to find good help,” she said after a few more seconds of agonizing silence. My brow furrowed, not understanding her meaning. “I sent someone to fetch you hours ago,” she explained. “In the end, I had to come find you.” Lucia was always so regal, her hair perfect, shining silver ringlets and the wrinkles in her skin somehow accentuating her beauty. She radiated regality in the same way Anteros radiated savagery. Whenever I caught glimpses of her, I was stunned, awed into silence. It was uncomfortable, and another reason I avoided her.
“I got the message.” I rubbed my hands on my jeans, pausing when I felt the bulge of the phone. I slowly stood up straight, desperate for any way to end this conversation and get away, to hide the evidence. “I was on my way to see you.” It was a lie, and I was sure she knew it. Silently, Lucia came closer to me, long and bony yet beautiful fingers reaching to lift the necklace from my skin.
“I would imagine you would be more curious to know of your family.” She twirled the diamond between her pointer finger and thumb. My stomach raged, thinking to how Anteros had only just recently held it. It didn’t belong in her hand. “Of your mother,” she finished, dropping the diamond. I pulled back, hand covering the pendant instinctively.
“I am,” I said, voice high with excitement. Was she serious? I’d been asking about my family, about who I was, since we’d arrived at this fucking place—but she knew that. She turned as if to leave without another word.
“Tell me what you know about my mother,” I demanded to her back. Fuck. I’d been doing my best to keep my emotions under control, but seriously? Was she really going to just leave like that? She paused and lifted her head.
“Stop avoiding me and you’ll find out,” she said over her shoulder, sounding amused. I felt ill, unable to speak as she disappeared out the door. I wanted desperately to know about my mother and the origins of my family. My month with Anteros had taught me when I was being used, though, when someone was fucking with my mind.
I didn’t know why she was fucking with me. I didn’t know why my grandmother would want to screw with me. When I was younger I used to imagine having grandparents like the other children. Their grandparents would bake them cookies or let them play games at their houses. There was a game we were playing, but I wasn’t sure what it was and I couldn’t possibly know the rules.
I waited a few minutes after she left before I followed. The hallway was empty and I quickly scurried the rest of the way down to my room—the best room for the best granddaughter, Lucia had explained with her ghostly smile. When she’d said that, I thought my dreams were coming true and I had finally gotten a grandmother like all the other kids. Now I knew the true reason: Lucia had given me the room because it was the corner room, which made it almost impossible to leave at night.
There was an unwritten rule about leaving. I never got in trouble if I left during the day, I was simply followed. When I went to the thrift store, a soldier followed me. Watching me. Studying me. Reporting to Lucia what he saw. It made me feel more caged than when I was here, sitting in my room, alone.
There were cameras all over the club and basement but, as far as I could tell, the bedrooms weren’t equipped with any. It made sneaking around easier and made my prison bearable. Some days I could steal freedom, and the night always belonged to me.
It was how I’d found Anteros.
I pushed the door open and stopped short in the doorway when I saw who was sitting on my bed.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I snapped. Nikolai stood up off the four-poster bed draped in shining silk.
“We need to make a few things clear.”
“Like boundaries?” I asked. “And personal space? I agree.”
“I know you’ve been seeing Beast.”
“That’s a lie,” I said with a wave of my hand. “And not a very good one.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have time to play games with you, especially since you’re so terrible at them.”
I folded my arms and matched his glare. “What do you want?” I barely got the words out through my gritted teeth.
“Simple: you can’t tell him about me.”
I laughed. “One, I don’t see him so that would never happen. Two, if I did see him, fuck you.”
“You love him,” Nikolai continued like I’d never said a word.
“Why would I love the man who imprisoned me?”
Nikolai’s movements reflected in the shiny hardwood as he got closer. “I don’t really care about the whys of your Stockholm syndrome bullshit. All that matters is that you do, and he somethings you.” Nikolai narrowed his eyes and stressed the word ‘something’ like he still couldn’t believe Anteros could feel any type of emotion.
“So you probably wouldn’t want him finding out that you’ve been fucking me,” he continued, “and that you were the mastermind behind all of this.”
“Your lies are getting—” Nikolai held up a hand, cutting me off before I could protest. He pulled out a smart phone and I had my arms folded, ready to roll my eyes at whatever was on the screen, when I gasped. The first video showed a drugged Anteros as we dragged him to his room on Christmas Eve. The next showed me opening the Bible and checking the needle on New Year’s Eve, making it seem like I’d added it alone.
“You fucking saved those? You said you erased the tapes.” He shrugged and pressed a finger to the screen. The room filled with sound. I listened, expecting to hear what we’d said during those times, but it was all wrong.
“We need to get him to bed,” Nikolai’s voice said.
“I’m going to kill him, actually murder his body,” mine replied.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was my and Nikolai’s words, but none of it was how it should have been. I remembered saying that Beast was going to kill me and that he was going to murder my body, but somehow Nikolai had doctored it. It was altered, but it sounded so real—it looked so real.