“I don’t know…” Lenny sighed. “Fucked up, prob
ably.”
“Whatever they became, you were a loving mother and you supported them. I like to think they were artists.” Yeah, artists because with our genes they didn’t really have a choice. Still, despite her intense self-hatred, Lenny would never have turned it on the children. She would have been a brilliant mother. She would have supported them.
Lenny laughed. “Artists? Okay. Well, I think you were a strict father but they always knew you loved them.” The smoke had made it nearly impossible to see and it sounded like the fucking Fourth of July. When I heard the sound of creaking wood, I knew our time had come to an end.
“I would live any life with you, Lenny.” I gripped her hand, continuing, “But you have to go now.”
“Let’s talk about where we would live,” Lenny said, ignoring me. “Do you think we would have lived in Santa Barbara forever? I’ve always wanted to see Scotland.”
“You don’t have to burn with me, Lenny,” I pressed. “I don’t have to snuff you out, too. Go live in the light. Go be with everyone on the outside.”
“Funny, I always thought I would be the one to snuff you out,” she said dryly.
I pulled my hand from hers. “I’m serious, Lenny.”
“I’m not leaving you, Vic!” Lenny screamed. “You light me up. Before you I was just darkness. I don’t care if you take me, because if you leave me I’ll go back to that darkness anyway.”
“Look at me.” I grabbed Lenny’s face but she refused to look. “Look at me, dammit!”
Reluctantly Lennox opened her eyes. Deep blue, probing…for a moment I thought they might wash it all away. “You didn’t leave me,” I said, keeping her chin taut between my fingers. “You were here until the very end. You did everything you could, do you understand?” Tears fell freely from her lids. My sight grew blurry. I’d have liked to say it was from the smoke, but even I knew that was a lie. Water blurred my vision. Tears stained my skin.
“Say it Lennox,” I bit out.
“No.” She tried to jerk her chin out of my grasp but I held firm.
“Say it!” I yelled as more debris fell.
She spat out the words, spit hitting my face. “I was with you until the end.”
“Now you leave.” I let her chin go and shoved her off me. “Get the fuck out of here before you die with me.”
Lennox stumbled back. Refusing to meet my gaze she said, “I hate you, Vic Wall.”
“I know.” Fire was licking its way closer to us, the heat making me sweat. Lenny needed to get out, and quickly. Forget the debris—if she didn’t leave now the smoke would make her drop.
“I don’t want this to be the end.”
“I know.” At that point, I wasn’t sure if it was smoke inhalation or the crushing reality of our situation making my chest hurt.
“Why did you make me love you?” Tears streamed down her face, clearing the skin anew where soot and ash had darkened it. I opened my mouth to answer her, not prepared for what I was going to say. Another beam fell and with it carried some of the second floor. It separated us and then I could only see her shadow.
Her black outline stood unmoving for a few moments, the smoke wrapping around it like fog on a bayou. For a moment I thought I was going to have to throw shit at her or something to make her move, then just like that she vanished.
All the times when we’d been separated, when we’d fought, when we’d clawed at our perilous love like it would really kill us.
All the times I’d thought it was our end.
Had never prepared me for the reality of when it was truly over.
Lenny
The casket was black and polished with silver handles. Black orchids rested on top. A light mist fell from the overcast sky. The funeral procession walked with somber determination. There was only one open grave that day.
That was either good fortune or bad, depending on how you looked at it.
I’m going with pretty fucking terrible.