“I was in your—her room, watching you sleep.”
After a few moments, Lennox responded, “That’s a little creepy.”
I shrugged. “I couldn’t stay away.” I gently tugged her chin to mine. “You’re mine, Lenny. You’ll always be mine.” Her eyes crinkled. Pain, longing, confusion, a mirage of emotions flitted across her face. I wanted—no, I was compelled to erase every negative one.
I was back now. I could cure her of the pain I’d caused. As I leaned in to capture the lips that had already captured me, I knew my motives went beyond selfless amelioration. Her pouty lower lip beckoned for me. I’d watched Lenny for weeks as if locked in my own personal hell.
I needed her. She was my lifeblood.
Lenny backed away, nearly running into a pile of trash. “No! I’m not doing this. I’m not kissing my dead boyfriend in an alley.”
“I’m not dead,” I reminded her.
“Semantics,” she hissed. I came up behind her and slowly trailed my fingers down her front, resting my palm just below her belly.
“I’ve missed this,” I whispered, taking her ear gently between my lips.
“You’ve missed this?” Lenny spun out, furious, but I held on to her wrist gently. Her eyes were red with unshed tears. “You don’t get to miss this. You’ve been alive and watching me. I’m the one who’s been missing you.”
“I never thought I’d get to be with you again, Lenny. For all intents and purposes, I was dead.”
Lenny jerked on her wrist. “Let me go.”
“Never.” I yanked at her, pulling her back to me. “Do you have any idea what I’ve wanted to do to you?”
“No, because I’m not a fucking psychic. I can’t commune with the dead.” She jerked her head away, the motion whipping her hair across my face. I tugged her back, snaking my fingers into the red hair I’d been using as a beacon for weeks. It was smooth as silk and thick between my fingers.
“I’ve dreamt of feeling you against me. Of having you pressed against my body once more. Even if only for a few moments.” Lenny didn’t say a word, but I could feel the blood rushing through her body. As I moved my other hand against the skin of her throat, her heartbeat was a drum against my fingers. She still hid her face from me and her body was coiled tight.
“Lenny you were my north star. Through all of this, you guided me.”
She whipped her head back again and I could see the tears undulating on the surface of her lids. “That’s not fair.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.” I dragged her back across the alley until my back hit the wall.
“You don’t get to die. You don’t get to disappear and shatter me to pieces and then…and then…” I wiped the stray tear off her cheek. She slapped my hand away and yanked herself free. I pushed her back, rushing until she met the opposite wall. Then I pinned her.
“I wanted this to be gentle,” I said to her back, then spun her around.
Lenny laughed. “We aren’t gentle. We’re nuclear. We aren’t roses and lilting music. We’re broken bones and graveyards.”
“Every day I’ve been gone I’ve thought about you.” Our gazes were pinned but her eyelids were drooping, and despite the fact that her lips were currently ripping me apart, she licked them.
“Me too.” She glared at me, but I could see beyond that glare to the lust she was trying to hide. “The only difference is I never once dreamed you could come back.”
“Well, I did.” I crushed my mouth against hers. She fought, but I’d expected that. I pressed her harder against the bricks and parted her leg with my knee.
I undid my belt and she said, “Since when the fuck do you wear belts?”
“Since I can fucking do this.” I wrapped the belt around her wrists and then held the leather up, forcing her arms above her head. With my lips on her neck, I made her succumb to me. I ripped the moan out of her body the same way she’d ripped into me. I knew the love she felt for me wasn’t gone, it was simply buried. She’d had to bury my body, and in order to survive, she’d buried our love with it.
Well, I was back now. I wasn’t going to leave again. I would stay. I would fight to make her feel safe for the rest of our lives. I was going to prove that to her day in and day out, starting right now, in this fucking alley.
Letting the leather slip between my fingers, I fell to the ground.
Fuck me.
She was wearing a skirt. I pushed the material up until it bunched around her hips. Nothing but a small scrap of fabric separated me and her taunting, lovely, fucking maddening, cunt.