Come To Me (Owned 3)

“Where was the worst place you’ve been to a party?” I heard Eli whisper.

“Definitely Applebee’s,” Lissie replied.

“Guys, shut up,” Zoe hissed. “And, yes, Applebee’s.”

“Of course it’s positive,” I growled. “You’re the one who took it.” I should’ve been better in that moment. I should’ve been gentler, but goddammit I was sick of games. The test was out, all of our friends were in the audience, the time for lies was over.

“I gave the thing a minute and it came out negative,” Lenny said, still looking at the stick. She cradled it in her palms, eyes wide. She examined it, as if looking for any flaws. I knew what she was doing, I’d done it the day I’d discovered the thing. And then I realized,

“You honestly didn’t know?” It all started to crash down. All the conversations I’d had with Grace, all my doubts and worries, all of it had been for nothing. Lenny had no fucking idea.

“Of course I didn’t know!” Lenny threw the test at my face and I ducked. Eli yelped when it hit him instead.

“You thought I was lying to you? About being pregnant?” Her Atlantic eyes crinkled, waiting for me to answer. Instead I looked at the floor. My eyes landed on the fucking pregnancy test, the goddamn thing that started it all. If I’d just asked her the day I found it, instead of… Lenny scoffed. “Glad you think so highly of me.”

“I thought you couldn’t trust me.” I looked back up, trying to capture her gaze. She’d turned away. “I thought you were afraid to tell me after what I did.”

“We moved past that. Or at least…I thought we did.” A silence like the rustle of leaves before a big storm fell between us. I knew this could go one of two ways.

“That really hurt,” Eli whispered. “I think she got me in the eye.” Distantly I heard shushing, but I was too lost in Lenny.

Grabbing her hand, I pulled her off the wall. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Lenny asked as I dragged her out of the bathroom. I pushed our way through the audience that had accumulated in the hallway, working toward the front door.

“To buy pregnancy tests,” I said as we exited.

“Now it’s a party!” Lissie called after us.

We bought at least fifteen tests and made sure to get a variety of brands. When we were checking out, the cashier wished us luck, a smile on her face—which, let me just take a second to say, fuck that chick. What if we didn’t want to be pregnant?

Don’t push your shit on me.

As we were driving home, I stared at the plastic bag filled to the brim with tests and that fucking cashier’s words felt like an onus. Did I want luck? Did I not want luck? For a week I’d been tiptoeing around the issue, not bothering with my thoughts because I was never sure what Lenny was thinking. Turns out, Lenny had no fucking clue.

Did we want to be pregnant?

Did I?

The answers to those questions were dependent on the scenario.

When we got home, Lenny had to drink three bottles of water just so she could pee on all the sticks. Now we both leaned against the bathroom wall, waiting…waiting for answers, waiting to feel, waiting to think.

I’d suggested we go out for food to give the sticks time to really ripen.

“They’re not fruit,” she’d said.

When we got home, everyone had cleared out. Someone had cleaned up the poker outside. The pizza was wrapped in the fridge. Even though they were gone, I knew they were somewhere waiting with us.

The alarm went off after five minutes, even though the box only said three. We looked into each other’s eyes first. I wanted to say everything I couldn’t say, like: Even though for the past month I’ve been thinking you couldn’t trust me, it doesn’t matter. Even if you really hadn’t trusted me, it wouldn’t matter.

I will always be here, and you can trust that.

I at least wanted her to know one thing: that no matter what the sticks said, no matter which way fate forked, there would always be us. The bathroom grew blurry and I wiped my eyes just as Lenny turned to see which road we’d take.

“They’re all positive,” Lenny said, awe on her features. “Except that one. Though, to be honest, I think it’s your toothbrush so that makes sense.”

“Do you know what this means?” I looked to Lenny, waiting for her to tell me what to feel. Were we mad? Were we happy? Were we scared?