I had absolutely no inkling that the reason he was abused was because of me, though. He didn’t even sound bitter about it; he just stated it as a fact. Like apples were apples, and I was the reason he was abused.
I cleared my throat. “When you left I became the demon spawn. Daddy beat me.” It was Vic’s turn to be surprised. I saw realization spread across his features. I realized he’d really believed that when he left, I would be okay.
Neither of us said anything, we just let the revelations wash over us. Both our eyes traveled to the window. I watched as the waves crashed against the shore, each crash wiping away the old sand and creating a smooth new palate. Adults and children were laughing on the sand, smiling and having a normal life.
“He’s not a drug dealer, you know,” I said, sitting down on a kitchen bar stool, preparing for a talk I didn’t want to have. I didn’t know what I’d expected when I’d come there. Family wasn’t something I had, so why had I thought I’d get a brother?
“I have resources that indicate otherwise,” Vic replied, still standing.
I raised an eyebrow. Resources? Like the internet? “I don’t know what ‘resources’ you have, but Eli isn’t a drug dealer. He’s pre-law at UGA.”
Vic sat down, his face expressionless. “He used to work with Zero.”
“After everything I just told you, about me and about Zero, how can that still bother you?” Vic knew nothing about Zero. He’d left our town before Zero moved in and infested the place. Zero had promised everyone things that our town couldn’t possibly offer. These were the kids of addicts, of parents who worked three jobs, and of parents like mine…so Zero seemed like the second coming in comparison.
And then when we’d learned who Zero really was, it was too late. We were sucked in. There was no way to escape Zero, unless you offered yourself as a trade to save the one you loved.
“So you know what Eli did?” Vic asked, frowning. “You know he got families hooked on meth?”
“I know Eli is working to become a public defender and save lives. I know that you’re coming in when the game is almost over, and trying to act like you know things that you don’t.”
Vic ran a hand through his hair. “What the hell do you want from me, Grace?”
I shrugged. I’d thought I wanted a brother. Now? “Absolutely nothing!” I stood up and walked out of the apartment.
I slammed the door behind me, utterly frustrated with my brother and now completely unsure of where to go. I sighed, spinning around to lean against the now shut door, when—
“Oh my!” I jumped back, startled by a shadowy presence looming right next to the doorway. “How long have you been standing there?”
Eli stepped out from the shadows, his height seeming to grow in the light. His head was down and he looked despondent. “Since Lennox asked me to leave.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That was two hours ago.”
Eli took a step toward me. “I heard everything you said. You shouldn’t have said those things about me, not after the way I spoke to you. You’re too nice for your own good, Bug.”
I shrugged my shoulders, turning my attention away. I didn’t want to talk about what he’d said to me. Like every other bad thing in my life, I’d rather bury it away and forget it.
“No, don’
t do that, Bug.” Eli reached for my hands. Reluctantly, I gave them to him. “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” I muttered, averting my gaze. “Okay.”
“Grace,” Eli said, his tone provoking me. “Don’t you hide from me. I was wrong to talk to you like that. You deserve better. Remember that.”
I sighed. I didn’t agree that I deserved better. If Eli knew the secrets I was keeping from him, he’d sooner toss me out with the trash. Still, there was no arguing with Eli when he got like this. Reluctantly I nodded in agreement.
Eli glanced down the hallway. “Were you going somewhere?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “I was gonna walk around and clear my head.”
Pulling my hand with his, Eli led me down the hallway. “I’ll come with you.”
I frowned at his back, watching his prominent shoulder muscles move as he walked. “I don’t understand you, Eli Jackson.”
“Why…” Eli stopped, turning to face me with a wicked smile on his face. “Grace Wall, you understand me most of everyone.”
Eli and I walked for hours around Santa Barbara, talking mostly about nothing. We got ice cream and french fries and it almost felt like everything was normal. Now, hours later, we walked along the beach, the moon reflecting against the water in stutters.