“Can we just get this over with?” I huffed.
“I’m stayin’ over there.” Eli thumbed in the opposite direction. I grumbled and followed as he led me across the street. He pulled out a key, turned the lock, and opened the door to a surprisingly nice place. I’d have expected him to stay at a motel or low-end hotel, but this was an apartment only a few blocks from the ocean.
I knocked the errant thoughts out of my head and turned to face Eli. I wasn’t there to comment on his temporary housing, after all. I’d basically been kidnapped and forced there because Eli wanted to talk about something.
“So?” I demanded.
“So?” Eli repeated, smiling at me with his knee-buckling grin. I glared and looked away, catching sight of an abstract painting. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No!” I exclaimed. “What is so important that you had to bring me here, Eli?” He ignored me and walked into the kitchen. He returned with two glasses of water. Squinting my distaste, I shook my head at his offer.
“Stop fooling around, Eli. What do you want to talk about?”
“You’ve been really hot and cold with me, Gracie,” Eli mused. I chewed the inside of my cheek at his statement. I may have been a bit hot and cold with him, but then he didn’t know the memories I’d buried and how they’d been resurfacing. It had been so much easier when he was a thousand miles away.
Now he was here.
>
And I couldn’t hide my love.
But I also couldn’t hide my shame.
“I think I know why,” Eli continued. I folded my arms for protection. There wasn’t a chance in heck Eli knew why I was being so hot and cold, but I still wasn’t relishing the conversation. Everything would go back to normal the minute he went back to Georgia. I just had to hold strong until then.
“Maybe you should take a seat,” Eli offered.
“I’m just fine standing, thank you,” I replied.
Eli shrugged. “Suit yourself.” Eli took a swig of his water before continuing. “Well, Bug, I know.”
“You know?” I unfolded my arms, sick of the game. “What do you know?” I just wanted to go back to Vic and Lennox’s. I still had to figure out if I had a place to stay with them, or if I was back to being homeless.
“I know about the baby.”
That sentence sent my entire world crashing down.
“You know?” The words barely came out. The revelation floored me. The world spun around me. I felt hot and cold. He knew? I stumbled back and Eli reached to grab me, but I fell. I fell to the floor, the hardwood breaking my fall. I let the pain clear my thoughts.
He knew.
I ran my hand through my hair, clutching the dark brown locks. What had happened was supposed to be my shame to bear. The idea that Eli knew what I’d had and what I’d lost was…
I couldn’t breathe.
“The letter that brought me here, your mama sent it.”
What is he saying? I was in my own little world, reliving that night and the aftermath. The doctors. Daddy's subsequent death. Had he said that Mama sent him the letter? I looked up at him.
It was too much information for one person to process. I needed a second person to take some of the words flying at me.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I stared at my shadowy reflection in the shiny hardwood as it began to blur from my tears.
“I’ll admit I was mad at first, when I received the letter. Not at you, but at everything. I was mad, Grace. I wish you’d’a let me know. I wanted you to tell me on your own. I didn’t want it to be like this. I was pushing you to tell me, to trust me. But you’re so stubborn, Bug.”
I hugged my knees to my chest, still on the floor. This couldn’t be happening. I wanted to put my fingers in my ears and say, “La, la, la.” Then maybe it would all go away.
“Then at your brother’s,” Eli continued. “You told me about Zero. I had no idea. I wasn’t expecting that. I just…I freaked out. I felt so bad. I’m sorry Gracie. I’m sorry for what I said. It’s just… You think you can take everyone’s pain for yourself.”