She slips into the passenger seat and bangs the door shut. We exchange terse greetings, the warmth and friendliness of the previous day forgotten. Her hands are shaking the slightest bit, and my fear doubles in intensity.
“So, what’s this about?” Liz says, but she doesn’t look at me. Her body language screams that the last place she wants to be is here in the car with me.
“The man at the cemetery, who was he?” I ask her.
“I told you. He and Tessa were—”
“I know what you told me, but it doesn’t make sense. Why was he so heartbroken four years later? Tessa was my wife, and I’ve healed. Somewhat.”
Liz looks pale and like she’s going to be sick. I hate myself for doing this to her, but this is important.
“It was four years ago. Just leave it. Leave the past where it belongs. You have a baby on the way; concentrate on that.”
“I can’t leave the past when I don’t understand it,” I tell her.
She drops her head, and my heart gallops in my chest. I can’t breathe, petrified of what will come next. I have a sick feeling that my suspicions were correct.
“I hate you, Tessa, for putting me in this position,” she mumbles to herself. She inhales deeply and then looks at me. “He and Tessa were having an affair when she died.”
Lances of stabbing pain shoot up my shoulder and then grip my heart like a vise. I slump back into my chair and fork my fingers through my hair. I want to defend Tessa because I knew her. But her sister knew her better.
I try to think of instances in the past when she wasn’t at home, and she should have been, but I can’t. I worked insanely long hours at the time, and I left her alone a lot. She had ample time to have an affair if she wanted. But Tessa? We had been so in love. Our lives revolved around one another.
“You were working a lot and had no time for her,” Liz said.
“So, it was my fault that while I was working hard to earn a living for us, my wife got bored and had an affair?” I exploded.
Liz looks at me. “That was her excuse. We never once blamed you.”
“Who is we?”
She shifts in her seat. “My parents and I.”
I inhale sharply. They must have thought I was an idiot loving and then mourning over a woman who was having an affair.
“How did it start?” I thought that losing Tessa was the most painful thing that had ever happened to me.
“The class reunion,” Liz says. “They went for drinks once or twice, and then the affair took off from there.”
I imagine Tessa in another man’s arms, whispering sweet words in his ear like she did when we made love—no, had sex. I feel like I’m being punched in the gut over and over again.
More details emerge. How the whole family had begged her to stop, and she kept saying she would, but she never did.
Then something pops into my mind. Something the man had said. They were going to have a future together. “Was she planning to leave me for him?” I can’t say his name.
“I honestly don’t know. She would not have confided something like that to me because she knew how I felt about the whole thing.”
I’m overwhelmed. And grief-stricken. It’s like I’ve lost Tessa all over again. I cover my face and do something I’ve never done in front of anyone. I cry. I’m beyond embarrassed.
For four years, I had mourned a woman who did not exist.
Chapter 23
Cora
I head to Riley’s after work, and as I park the car, exhaustion pulls at me. It’s not physical, though. It’s emotional, and Thomas is the cause of it. At first, I’d been angry when he stood me up at the doctor’s appointment, but when we next spoke, he had sounded so out of it that I knew something was very wrong.
We’ve seen each other for a quick cup of coffee, and when I asked, he said that he was fine. Fran called me today and voiced her own worries. Martin, her husband, has also tried finding out what is going on with Thomas, but he’s not saying.
I sigh and knock on Riley’s door. Her mother-in-law opens it, and we exchange pleasantries as she lets me in. Riley is doing a lot better, and I’m grateful for that. Leo’s mom is wonderful and super understanding, and friendly.
“Hey, you,” Riley says from her bed and puts the magazine she was reading on her lap.
“Hi.” I plant a kiss on her cheek.
We catch up, and then Leo’s mom brings us two mugs of tea and then leaves the room.
“How’s Thomas doing, any better?” Riley asks.
I shake my head. “No. Fran called me today. The family is getting very worried. He won’t confide in any of them, and he and Fran’s husband are pretty close.”