“I tried,” Martin says. “But you know how he is.”
I frown with irritation. “Why are you talking about me as if I’m not here?”
Fran grins at me, and I realize that it was a deliberate move to get me into the conversation.
“I know you love her, bro. I don’t understand why you won’t do the right thing by her and by Taylor.”
“What if she says no?” I tremble inside with fear. This is a real possibility. I’m afraid that my window of opportunity has shut down. With Cora, nothing is a guarantee, and to be honest, I’ve kept her dangling for a long time. What if she has found someone else? The thought fills my mouth with bile and bitterness.
“She’s not going to say no,” Fran says. “She loves you, and she wants to be a family.”
Hope soars in my chest. “She told you that?”
“No, but I know how women think.”
My hope comes crashing back down.
Chapter 40
Cora
The buzzer goes off, and I take Taylor with me to let Rebecca in. She’s the nanny from the agency, and she’s a godsend. She’s wonderful with Taylor, and she’s made my transition back to work so seamlessly.
She comes bounding in as usual full of energy even though it’s not even nine yet. “Good morning, my precious,” she says to Taylor and kisses her. “Morning, Cora.”
“Morning.” I force cheer into my voice.
It’s been like this every single day. Everything is a chore these days. Having been here before, I know what the trouble is. And it starts with a capital T. On bad days like today, I have to constantly remind myself that this misery will end.
I just don’t know when, but it will.
I hate the emotions that come over me unexpectedly. Sometimes I’m angry, then sadness sweeps over me, and other times I’m numb. I miss him so much. I miss hearing his voice and the sound of his laughter.
I miss seeing him being a great dad to Taylor. I feel sad when I imagine her growing up without her daddy. I know for sure that one day, he’ll learn to love again, and when he does, another woman will be waiting to snap him up.
However angry I am with Thomas, the fact remains that he’s an awesome human being. The woman he’ll love will be very lucky indeed. Then of course, they’ll go on and have a family of their own, and my Taylor will be relegated to second place.
These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night. The future terrifies me. I try and tell myself that I’ll meet a wonderful man who’ll want me for keeps. But in the middle of the night, when it’s quiet, and I’m alone with my thoughts, it seems highly unlikely.
After cleaning up, Rebecca comes and takes Taylor from me. I’m ready for work, and I kiss Taylor and leave for the gym downstairs.
“Morning,” I say to Samantha at the reception. I pause to stare at her. “Something is different about you.”
“Morning,” she calls out cheerfully. “Want a clue?”
“No, I’ve got it. Why did you change your hair? You looked gorgeous with white hair.”
She sighs. “I loved it too, but it turns guys off.”
Do women’s lives revolve around guys? I can’t believe she’s changed her favorite hairstyle to attract guys. I keep my thoughts to myself and wish her a good day instead.
As is my custom, I take a walk around the gym. I take more time in the physiotherapy rooms and speak to Mercy, who is the physiotherapist in charge. I’m glad we went ahead with expanding our services. We have two full-time physiotherapists, and we are booked solid for two months. I pause and watch what used to be my early morning aerobics class for seniors.
I move on to the weight room. It’s almost full, and as I turn away to leave, I spot a familiar figure in the adjoining treadmill room. I move closer. My eyes are not deceiving me. It’s Thomas.
My mouth goes dry, and I enter the room and go and stand in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” It’s rude, but it’s difficult to be polite to the man who rejected you.
“I came to speak to you,” he says as beads of sweat form on his forehead.
God, he’s hot. Even on a treadmill with sweat pouring down his face.
“About us.”
I stare at him incredulously. “There is no us, and the answer is a big, resounding no.”
I whirl around and walk out, fuming with anger. Who the fuck does Thomas think he is? Does he think that I’ve been moping over him all this time and hoping he would come back to us and admit he made a mistake?
Okay yeah, I have, but Thomas would never say that he made a mistake. The reason that he’s here is that he’s horny, and as he always used to say, I’m the best lover he’s ever had.