She gasped with pain.
“And now? What changed?”
“You did. You showed me there’s more to life than the gun. There’s more than pain. There’s pleasure too, and for so long I denied myself pleasure.” I glanced past her at my empty living room—at my empty kitchen, my empty bedroom, my empty life.
I was a shell of a man, a weapon for Evgeni.
Until I met Fiona, at least. Until she came on my fingers and looked at me like I was a conquering god, like I was a devil sent to bend her to my will, like I was a demon with a magic cock and all she wanted in this world was to bend down onto her knees and suck me off until my seed dribbled down her chin.
I wanted that look again so badly it hurt.
“I don’t know how I can be that for you.”
“Don’t worry, princess. All you have to do is let me worship you. I can give you the pleasure you crave and take my own in the process. All you have to do is give yourself to me.”
“I can do that,” she whispered, half moaning, as my hand moved up from her breast and wrapped around her throat.
“All you have to do is feel my pleasure, Fiona.” I squeezed slightly, pressing down on her pulse. “All you have to do is die for me.”
She was my reason. For all my life, I thought only Evgeni and the Morozov family could give me meaning, could make my life worth something.
But not anymore. Now I could see something else, something better.
And all she had to do was give herself to me.
I leaned forward, my lips against her throat. “I’ll stop if you ask me to,” I whispered. “Only say the word ‘tomorrow’ and I’ll let you go.”
Her eyes went wide, and there was that spike of pure fear as my fist in her hair finally tightened and pulled, and my hand around her throat squeezed.
* * *
Fiona
He was going to kill me.
I could see it in his eyes. Death and destruction and a void, a deep black void in his heart.
He was a killer.
I knew it that night when his fingers slid inside my pussy. I knew it when I came for him and felt so ashamed, so wrong—and more aroused than I ever had before.
He was the darkness I’d craved for so long.
I couldn’t breathe. My skull burned where he pulled my hair. I thought he was going to strangle me and there was nothing I could do. I pushed back against him, shoved with both my hands, and he instantly released my neck. I sucked in a breath and stared at him with fear and desire warring through my body.
I understood what he meant. One simple word would end this and he’d walk away.
He stopped before. Even though he said he wouldn’t stop again—I knew that wasn’t true.
He wanted to worship me. But he wanted me to die first.
Wasn’t that what happened to all the Greek goddesses? I could be like Persephone in the Underworld. He was my ferryman, taking me to a place where I didn’t have a mind anymore.
Where I didn’t have to think.
If that was what he needed, then I’d give it to him. I’d die for him, again and again.
The little death. No tomorrow.
I dropped to my knees and fumbled with his belt. He let out a soft grunt as I finally got it off. He helped unbutton his jeans, and I unzipped him, pulled them down, and finally slipped his cock from his boxer briefs.
He was thick and stiff, so hard that it felt like granite in my palm. I stroked him slowly, not sure what I was doing—I didn’t have much experience.
I went by feel, by instinct. I listened to his breathing.
He reached down and teased my nipple as I licked him, tasted his skin, his precum on the tip leaving a long trail to my lips. I looked up at him as he ran a thumb down my mouth then grabbed my hair again.
“Open your lips.”
I obeyed. He wanted me to die? I’d die for him then.
He pressed his cock into my mouth and deep into my throat.
I gagged, but he didn’t stop. I couldn’t breathe and tears came to my eyes—and only then did he pull back. Spit and drool clung to his shaft and he let out the most gorgeous moan I’d ever heard.
He did it again, cock in my mouth, then released me. I pulled back, gasping, then sucked him. I could barely fit half his shaft, but I tried anyway, wanting to feel him hit the back of my throat, wanting to choke, wanting that stab of fear.
The fear made the pleasure so much better.
I realized in that moment, down on my knees, just why that orgasm that night had been so incredible.