“I’m not walking backward in my life. Not anymore,” I tell her, hoping she’ll take the news to them. I know they’ll be at the party we’re having, and I don’t doubt they’ll force the issue of me joining back up, but it’s not happening.
Kids in this town have always tried to find new ways to keep themselves entertained, and the Havens were well-known for the dangerous games. But I’m done playing them. I am all grown up and no longer want to get into the shit they do.
“Does this have anything to do with the girl?” Gen asks, the challenge in her tone mingled with curiosity is clear. I know she’ll go back to them and give them all the information she’s gleaned from me. I shouldn’t have spoken about Nesrin, but I can’t help it. I have nobody in my life I can confide in. Loneliness is a motherfucker, and it sneaks up on you when you least expect it.
You can be in a room full of people and, yet, feel more alone than ever before. My mind flits back to Nesrin, and what she said about love earlier.
“No. It has to do with me, Gen.” I turn to Genevieve, pinning her with a stare that’s fierce and confident. “Did you come here to ask me shit, so you can tell them all you’ve learned? Or did you come here because you wanted to get back in my bed?”
“Why are you such an asshole, Damien?” Gen bites back, her eyes glower with fury as she stares at me. Her long reddish-brown hair hangs to the middle of her back. The deep green of her eyes is black in the darkness. And her plump lips are pursed, but I no longer have any interest.
“Because that’s how you like it.” I shove by her, ignoring her frustrated hissy fit when I slip into the driver’s seat of my Camaro. It’s the only woman I love, the only woman who hasn’t left me for something better.
“Fuck you,” Gen bites out. She’s angry now, but give it a couple of days, and she’ll be begging to get back in my good graces.
“Already done that, Sweetheart, I’m done playing your games. And tell The Black Knights that I’m finished.” I pull out onto the road, leaving her in the dark.
It doesn’t take me long to reach home, and the moment I step foot in the house, I hear a guffaw coming from the living room. Stepping over the threshold of the large open-plan room, I find Finn and Nesrin giggling over something they’re watching on his computer screen. They’re on the sofa, almost snuggled up to each other. The sight itself brings rage to the forefront of my mind, burning through every vein in my body.
“Gen says to tell you that she wants your dick on Saturday,” I tell Finn, who snaps his gaze to mine.
“Oh?” His dark brow arches, the smile on his face shows just how excited he is at the prospect. “Tell her I don’t take sloppy seconds from my big brother, but I’ll gladly feed her my dick if she’s hungry.”
I chuckle. And just as I thought, Nesrin’s face falls when Finn’s words sink in. Her eyes lock on mine, disappointment flits across her face for a second, before she schools her features.
I shrug and respond to Finn while keeping my eyes on the new girl, “I’m done with redheads, I think a brunette is next on the menu for me.” With a cocky wink, I turn and leave them to ponder my words. A smile curls my lips as I make my way to my bedroom.
I look forward to hearing what the wild rose has to say about that tidbit of information tomorrow morning because I’m certainly not leaving the safety of my bedroom until then.
Even though I’m dying to know what she looks like while she’s asleep.
11
Nesrin
The Past
“What are you going to do if it doesn’t work?” Jenny Shepherd asks. Her mother and mine work together, and since they’ve become friends, we’ve been thrown together. She’s a sweet girl, innocent compared to others who I’ve met in the industry, but mostly, she doesn’t care about the fame, just like me.
“I don’t know. I mean, I like him, and I think I’m ready.” I look at her, as I smooth down the material that hugs my every curve. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a party, but this one is special. I’m about to meet up with Xavier, who’s promised that tonight we’re taking our relationship to the next level.
“But do you love him?” she asks.
Love. I don’t know if that emotion is even worth thinking about. We’ve been seeing each other for four months, but I haven’t said that word to him yet. I have seen the destruction love leaves in its path. It’s not something I want to go through. But who knows, perhaps if we do finally take the next step, maybe then I’ll feel it, or be able to say it.