“Well… fuck. I’m sorry that happened, Pie. But you’re not crazy.”
“I know. I mean…” She looks down, trying to pull off a laugh. “I get it. There’s something more to this world and for whatever reason, I’ve been given a glimpse of it.” She looks back up at me. “But it’s not easy living in the wrong world, ya know?”
I think about that for a moment. The wrong world. Is that what it is? Could it be that simple? We’re just in the wrong world?
I keep eye contact with Pie as I nod my head at the new door. “So. How about we go find the right one?”
She studies the new door, then looks over her shoulder at the old one before meeting my gaze again. “Will we get lost?”
“We can’t get lost. Trust me, I’ve tried. There are some pretty cool places in these hallways. I’ve found a few that I wouldn’t mind staying in. Like, forever. But, unfortunately, the rooms move on. They are always moving. And you don’t go with them. If you don’t find your own way back, the hallways just rearrange themselves until eventually, there you are. Standing at the top of the stairwell, looking down at the sanctuary through the tall stained-glass windows.”
“How long can you be lost?”
“I don’t know. No one ever knew I was gone. Hell, I was gone the other day for a while. I had to find pants.”
This makes her guffaw. “This is how you found pants?”
“Yep. There’s a cool closet room hidden up here. And sometimes, when you come up the stairs with a certain thing in mind, the hallway gods will take pity on you and give you what you’re asking for. And the hallways were on your side that day, Pie Vita. Because I came back with pants, didn’t I?” There is no way she can stop her eyes from migrating down to my package underneath my leather pants. “Looks good in this, doesn’t it?”
She pretends to slap my chest. But it’s playful.
“So, do you want to try to go back? Or forward?”
A small bit of panic flashes across her face. “What do you mean try to go back?”
“It’s never straightforward. If you go back through the door you came in, you’ll be closer to where you started than if you leave through the one going forward. But it usually takes a few rooms to get home.”
“You’re sure we can’t get lost?”
“I’m still here, aren’t I?”
She lets out a breath. “All right. Then let’s go forward.”
I hold up a hand. “One word of caution. The places we go… they’re not… they’re not, um… how do I put this?” She has no idea what I’m trying to say, so she offers up no help. “They’re not family-friendly.” This is when she looks around and realizes that there are people fucking in dark corners. “This room is tame. There are some that… well. Sex parties were a thing in my time. And I always end up back in my time eventually.”
“The hallway gods send you what you need, do they?” She blushes immediately after saying this.
“I’m just warning you. They don’t all look like this. In fact, most of them have no people in them. It’s just a place. Like you have arrived at the wrong time. In between parties.”
“Are they all parties, then? The ones with people?”
“Hmm. I’ve never thought about it. But yeah, I guess they are.”
“OK, I’m all for going forward. But one more question.”
“Shoot.”
“Do you always look like a human in here?”
“No. Not always.”
She narrows her eyes at me. Like she can almost hear the words I’m not saying. “Buuuut… There’s a but after that. So spill it. What’s the but?”
I just want her to be prepared. I’m not a human and these human legs aren’t doing me any favors for making that case. And she’s used to them now. Used to me being like this. So. I just want her to be prepared when I revert back to what I really am. A monster. “Most of the time,” I say. “I do look like a human. But if I don’t, we’ll be in the forest and I was the object of a minor cult in my Roman days.”
“OK. I don’t like the sound of this. A cult?”
“That’s just what we call the followers.”
“You had followers?” Her look is one of doubt.
“You don’t believe me?”
“I was just asking.”
“It wasn’t a big cult. And my involvement in it has been lost to obscurity—”
“Can you just—I mean, I don’t want to be rude here, but can you just tell me what this means? You’re killing my happy buzz, Pell.”
“It doesn’t really mean anything.” I smile at her. Because this is starting to make her nervous. “There could be virgins, Pie Vita. That’s all I’m saying.”
She guffaws so loud, some of the people actually hear her and turn in our direction, looking confused. “Virgins?”