Tomas scrambles around the hookah, grabs the little machine, and is back on his pillow before Pie or I can say anything.
She looks over at me and laughs.
I like her laugh.
I like her, actually.
And today was pretty fun. It’s not even the sex, either. It’s that wood nymph body she’s wearing. I’m not mad at her. I’m not even frustrated with her that she’s not understanding things right. I wish we were kids together. I bet she would make a really great best friend.
Her smile is still bright. And she winks, then looks at Tomas. “You do realize that going first means you’re in the hot seat?”
“Huh?” Tomas is smashed out of his mind. “I go first. That means I’m in charge!”
“No.” Pie laughs. “You spin the dial, then one of us gets to truth-or-dare you.”
Tomas looks down at the game. “Fuck. I read that wrong.”
“Oh, my God.” Pie fakes exasperation. “You’re so stupid, Tomas!”
She likes Tomas. I know she likes Tomas. And he likes her too. A lot. I want to like Tomas. I’ve literally known him forever. It’s just… he’s a dangerous guy. At least out there he is. In here, he’s different. Fun and easygoing. Happy and carefree.
But when he’s his true self, you can’t trust him. Not even a little bit. That’s the mistake people always make with his kind. Well, what used to be his kind. He’s the last. But when they are in their base form, they are not anything close to human. They don’t recognize faces or scents. They will kill you and not think twice about it until they change back into another form and realize what they’ve done.
Tomas, not me, is the true monster of Saint Mark’s.
Hell, he might be the whole reason this cursed sanctuary exists.
Fine. Probably not. I pause my introspection to chuckle. But he’s definitely part of it.
“I got a truth.” Tomas turns the machine around so Pie and I can see it.
“OK, that’s you, Pell.”
“Wait.” I point at myself. “What’s me?”
“You have to ask him a question. You always pass to the right, so I go next. Which means you have to ask the truth question for Tomas.”
I spend a moment trying to sort those words out into something that makes sense, but then I just give up. I actually do have a question for Tomas. I would not say I’ve been wondering this, but I’ve been wondering this. “Have you ever had a woman, Tomas?”
“What?” That’s Pie. “Pell, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“What? It’s a question I have. I’ve never seen him with a woman. Or a man, if that’s what you’re into.”
“I’m not into men,” Tomas huffs. “And it’s hard to meet a woman when you’ve been stuck in a cursed dungeon for two thousand years.”
Pie looks at him. “You’ve never—”
“It’s not a big deal,” Tomas says. “I’m fine.” Pie is about to object, but he puts a hand up. “I’m not even human. And if you think this is me?” He points down at his dragon chimera body. “It’s not.”
“O. Kaaay.” Then Pie glares at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that? It was a legit question. I am curious.”
She shakes her head, takes the machine from Tomas, pulls the level to spin the dial. “Oh, great.” Her shoulders slump. “Dare.” Then she side-eyes me. No, glares at me. “You better not make me do anything stupid.”
“Wait, now I have to dare you something? How come I have to do all the work in this game? Am I the only one playing? What is happening?”
The rules come spilling out of her mouth again. “If it’s truth, the person who went before you gets to ask you a question. If it’s dare, then the person who goes next gets to make up a dare.”
“Fine. Whatever. Give me a minute.” Honestly, I’m really not in any condition to think and this makes me laugh.
“If you’re plotting something evil, I swear to God, Pell, I will—”
“Calm down. I’m not capable of plotting anything right now, let alone something evil.” But just as those words come out of my mouth… I get an evil idea.
And then, because I have no filter at the moment, I actually say it out loud. “Pie Vita—Pie is Life—” Tomas and I both fall over laughing.
“I’m going to let Tomas do your job if you don’t stop it right now!”
“She’s cute when she’s mad, huh, Tomas?”
Tomas is lying down on his side, clutching his stomach again. “She’s so fucking cute.”
“What is the dare!” She screams it.
“Fine! I dare you to give Tomas his first kiss.”
“What?” She blinks at me.
“What?” Tomas sits up, suddenly keenly interested in the game. He cocks his head at me. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you telling her to kiss me?”
“Because you’ve been stuck in a cursed dungeon for two thousand years, she’s pretty, she’s funny, and she’s mine to command at the moment. And I would like to dare her to kiss you.”