Sera gave her that look she used when someone said something foolish. “We also talked about easing her into the discussion.”
Hallie shrugged. “Sylvie is a very direct person. She doesn’t need to be eased into anything but Rene’s bed.”
Sylvie groaned. She should have known this would happen. She’d been ducking this conversation for a week. “This is what you two have been talking about behind my back?”
“Well, now we’re talking to your front,” Hallie offered with a smile. “Don’t be a hypocrite. You know how much we talked about Sera and Harry when they first got together and I wondered if he took his leg off when they had sex.”
Sera gasped. Sylvie winced. Harry had lost a leg during his time in the service, and Hallie had indeed been curious.
Hallie shook her head. “You would have asked the same of me if my Johnny had been one leg down.”
“Probably. Also, Sylvie and I talked a lot about how to handle you hormonally when you were pregnant because you were the terror of the town,” Sera replied with a prim look.
“I was glowy and perfect,” Hallie argued.
That made Sylvie laugh. She wasn’t sure how she’d made it through her years away without these two. Maybe it was time to talk to her best friends about the trouble she was having.
She hadn’t been around when Sera had been pregnant with Luc. Sylvie had been in college and she’d stayed for the summer semester that year because she’d heard Rene had come home from Chicago and she hadn’t wanted to see him.
If she had, would they be where they were? Or would they be so much further down the road?
“Have you ever wanted something you don’t know you should have?” Sylvie asked.
“Didn’t I mention Remy’s chicken-fried steaks?” Hallie replied.
Sera’s eyes rolled. “Don’t pay her any mind. Hallie’s the one who always knew what she wanted and got it right away, and do not talk to me about Gracie having Johnny’s thin hair. You are going to give that child a complex. Sylvie’s asking a serious question and yes. Yes, I have. I wanted Harry, and I screwed up things in the beginning. I don’t understand what’s wrong here, because you won’t talk to us.”
“You’re being Super Sylvie,” Hallie said seriously. “That’s what we call you when you’re there for everyone else but won’t let us do the same for you. I know you think it’s a good thing, but it makes us feel like you don’t need us.”
That thought made Sylvie wistful. “You two have families. You shouldn’t have to worry about me.”
“But you are our family,” Sera said. “Just because you won’t talk to us doesn’t mean we won’t worry. It just means you won’t let us carry our part of the burden.”
Tears pierced her eyes. She had been doing this ever since she came home. She’d held them a bit at arm’s length because their lives seemed more complex than hers. They had kids and husbands. Had she been weighing that as more meaningful than her own?
“Self-Sacrificing Sylvie is another name we use,” Hallie explained.
“I think I greatly prefer Super Sylvie.” Though she did understand. “I’m not trying to shut you guys out. I don’t want to worry you with my problems. Or maybe I don’t want to have to face them, and if I don’t talk to the two of you about it, my problems aren’t real.”
Sera lay back on her mat. “But they are real. You’re in love with Rene.”
She wasn’t ready to go there yet. “I had a crush on Rene. I’m now curious about him.”
Hallie joined them, all three lying on their backs, looking up at the sky the way they had when they were kids. “I don’t remember a time when you didn’t have a crush on Rene. I think we can move past the idea of a crush. You care deeply about him. Let’s phrase it that way because the L word is scary.”
So scary. “He left me behind once before, and I think I’m still worried that once this is over, he’ll leave me behind again.”
“You think he’s using you?” Sera asked.
That wasn’t exactly how she would put it. “I think Rene’s decided it’s time to start a family and I’m here. I check off all his requirements, and that’s what makes sense to him.”
“Is that so wrong?” Hallie asked.
Sera sighed as though they’d been over this, too. “She wants romance.”
Hallie’s nose wrinkled as though she’d had a terrible thought. “He’s cold? Rene’s a little standoffish, but he doesn’t seem cold.”
Cold wasn’t the problem. It was all that heat between them that made her stumble. “Not at all. He’s quite thoughtful. He texts me during the day, and he’s waiting for me at night. He’s focused on me, but he also needs me right now. What happens when his position is secure? Also, his position will only be secure with his great-aunt as long as he’s married and building a family because apparently single men can’t be trusted. What if he’s doing all of this to keep control of the company?”