Kept Man: Firsts and Forever Stories

He began to sing it a cappella, and I literally got goosebumps. His voice was absolutely gorgeous, deep and full with a sexy rasp. I closed my eyes and let it wash over me. He brought so much emotion to the words that it felt like he was telling me a very personal story.

When he finished, I opened my eyes and said softly, “Thank you. That was extraordinary.” He seemed surprised by my reaction and grinned self-consciously.

We kept talking about music all through lunch. I didn’t have a lot to contribute to the conversation, but I loved listening to Micah as he told me about the songs and artists he loved. He became animated, and a light shone in his eyes. At one point, he asked for my phone and found some of his favorites to play for me. It felt like he was both giving me a gift and sharing a piece of himself with each song.

While we talked, we grilled the hotdogs, then tucked into the wonderful, nostalgic lunch he’d made. In addition to the homemade potato salad, he served slices of chilled watermelon, chips with dip, and orange soda. We both finished the meal with a square piece of marble cake.

“Thank you again. Everything was perfect,” I said, as we carried the leftovers back to the kitchen.

“Sorry to go on and on like that. It’s been a long time since I got to talk about music without the discussion turning to—well, you know.” Yeah, I did. I couldn’t even imagine how many conversations and interviews he must have endured about the break-up of his band.

“No need to apologize. I enjoyed every minute of it.” He seemed skeptical, but I really had. I’d learned a lot about Micah through his love of music.

I started to help him clean up the kitchen, but he said, “I’ve got this. Why don’t you go pick out a room? There are several guest bedrooms on the second, third, and fourth floors, but if another room appeals to you, we can always move a bed into it.”

“Okay. I’ll go take a look.”

I climbed the stairs and wandered through each floor room-by-room. In addition to several pretty bedrooms, there were two libraries, a room dedicated to playing video games and watching TV, and another lined with shelves full of vinyl albums. I definitely wanted to come back to each of those at some point.

I ended up selecting a corner bedroom on the third floor with a private bath and small balcony, decorated with a kitschy nautical theme. The walls were pale blue like my room in my apartment, and it was cozy and inviting.

Even though I knew immediately that was the room I wanted, I continued my tour anyway, because I was curious what else I’d find. On the top floor, I took a peek at a couple more bedrooms, then reached a closed door at the end of the hall which stuck a little when I opened it. I stepped inside and flipped a light switch, and found myself in a fully outfitted recording studio.

The room was partitioned by a glass wall. On this side was a large mixing board and a seating area with a black leather sofa and chairs. There were two framed platinum records and several plaques and awards on the walls, as dusty and forgotten as the cluster of Grammys on the lower shelf of a bookcase that also held outdated magazines.

I stepped through a connecting door, into a smaller space lined with acoustic tiles. It contained several microphones, some random equipment, a keyboard, and a large drum kit. But what drew my attention were the five dusty guitars lined up on their stands along the far wall.

I crossed the recording booth and paused in front of a beat-up acoustic guitar. The other four were sleek, electric guitars. This one looked like it had a story to tell.

When he’d been a part of Fallen, Micah had sung lead vocals and played guitar and occasionally keyboard, while his brother had played drums and usually sang backup. On their biggest hit, the title track to Evermore, they’d sung in perfect harmony. That was more than a little ironic, since the brothers had constantly been at odds.

I’d seen Micah perform on TV when I was younger, but I could barely recall it now. It was tempting to look up some of his performances on the internet, but I was afraid of finding more heartbreaking videos like the last one I’d seen.

I did remember some of Evermore, because the rock anthem was a classic and I’d heard it a million times. Everyone had. The lyrics that stood out to me were, “Tear my heart out, make me bleed/I’ll die for you, if that’s what you need.” Since the song was up-tempo with a catchy beat, most people didn’t really think about the fact that the lyrics were actually pretty dark.