Kept Man: Firsts and Forever Stories

This definitely wasn’t any of my business either, but I found myself asking, “Are you still mad at Arlen, even after all these years?”

“No. But he’s totally done with me, and that’s just the way it is.” He tried to shrug it off, but there was a lot of pain in his eyes.

Since this topic clearly upset him, I tried to steer the conversation back to neutral ground with, “Want to go back to organizing your office? We were making good progress.”

“No, not now.” He drained his glass again and said, “I never said you could only take Wednesdays off, so why don’t you go out and enjoy the day?”

Since he clearly wanted some time to himself, I said, “Sure.” I tried to sound cheerful and stuck a smile on my face. “Text me if you need anything.” As much as I hated leaving him depressed and day drinking, I did as he asked.

I decided to walk because it really was gorgeous out, and it took about an hour to reach the Castro from Presidio Heights. Along the way, I sent a text to Ash to see what he was up to but didn’t get a reply.

My plan was to go to my apartment and start a new diorama. Micah had been going to a lot of trouble ordering supplies and moving furniture around to turn one of his guest rooms into an art studio for me, but that was still a work in progress and I was in the mood to lose myself in one of my projects.

When I let myself into the apartment, I immediately stopped in my tracks and exclaimed, “Oh shit, sorry!”

I’d managed to walk in on Ash and Wesley boning on the couch. Fortunately, it faced away from the door, but even over the back of it, I could tell I’d caught them right in the thick of things.

They flew apart like guilty teenagers, probably because I’d startled the hell out of them, and Ash blurted, “Oh, hey! We weren’t expecting you.” Meanwhile, Wesley grabbed a pillow to hide behind and fumbled for his glasses, which were on an end table.

“Yeah, um, I texted you, but obviously you were busy,” I mumbled, as I directed my gaze to the ceiling. “I’m just gonna go and give you two some privacy.”

“Wait,” Ash said, “you don’t have to run off. This is your apartment, too.”

“No, it’s fine. Really. I’ll talk to you later.” I stepped back out into the hallway and shut the door behind me. Wow, talk about embarrassing. While Ash and I could easily laugh it off, Wesley and I didn’t know each other well enough to make that anything but awkward.

I was halfway down the block when Ash sent me a text. It said they’d gotten dressed and wanted me to come back. I replied: No, it’s okay. You two have fun, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Wesley was usually at his medical practice on Tuesdays, so I wondered what had prompted the weekday rendezvous. Not that it was any of my business.

Since there was no way I was going back there and intruding on their privacy, I needed to find something to do. I ended up at a coffee house, and soon I was tucked away in a booth with an iced coffee. Because my mind kept going back to it, I took out my phone and searched for the documentary Micah had mentioned, and then I ended up watching the whole thing. Afterwards, I wished I hadn’t.

It started by talking about Micah and Arlen’s childhood, showing the rough neighborhood where they grew up and the school they’d attended. I learned Micah was only a year and a half younger than his brother, and that they’d been close as kids. Since their dad was always working, they took care of each other.

The documentary then cut between concert footage and scenes of Micah and Arlen screaming at each other, throwing things, and walking off stage and out of interviews. He and his brother never turned violent with each other, but they’d tear up everything around them, like two people in the eye of a hurricane.

I didn’t recognize that version of Micah. He was like an exposed nerve that couldn’t help but be constantly set off. It seemed so unlike the gentle, kind man I knew, but then again, this was him at twenty-two. He’d had a lot of time to grow up. I had seen a glimpse of his former self in the footage of the bar fight, but except for that, he just wasn’t this person anymore.

The documentary left me heartbroken for Micah and his brother. They’d been everything to each other, but somehow it had all gone terribly wrong. It seemed like they ended up turning on each other because they had no other outlet for all the pressure that came with overnight fame.